To all the boys I ever loved before,

My heart is just as weak now, as it was before. I know exactly what I want, but my heart’s so desperate it distorts my vision. It helped twist you into Prince Charming, and I believed it. You played the roll so perfectly, that combined with my own hallucinations, it was fool proof. 

I let you chain me to the bottom of the ocean, all my senses put on mute. Depression, and self-medication, lock the door real tight. Self-doubt, smothering any desire of escape.

But I’m here, right? I wake up everyday, I’m breathing.

That’s a win, and every win eats at the chain holding me down. It was up to me all along, to see what I have. I needed someone to open my eyes. They said one sentence that changed my life, one that began to set me free. “Know your truth, and that’s enough.” She said to me, it resonated in every part of me. Took a long time for me to put into practice, but let me say. I’ve never felt better. I may be caged, but the doubt is lifting, little by little.

When I get out, I’m gonna live. I’m gonna leave your memory behind, and make new ones. Because, you don’t represent all that’s out there for me. So I’ll catch you later, boy I thought I loved before. I’m sorry you didn’t know better, I’m sorry you saw the world as a nail. If only had more tools, than just a hammer. 

I’m sorry.