To Mama

The distance between us is gapped by the pain and how you clench hold of my soul is insane
The truths I could tell of your disastrous past and the path of destruction you're intent to still cast.
The lives you have crossed may recover one day but not without scars and words left to say. And no matter how much I try to fill the hole that you tore its unending and depleting and the tears they still  pour. I don't expect the sorrow to cease or the demons to relent because your actions prove you continue with malicious  intent. Even the miles between us won't absorb the torment, so
I take back the power of allowing me to heal which for years you so desperately  tried to  prevent. 
I search for a time where no longer a word could seep from your mouth
 that doesn't draw blood from my soul and replenish my self doubt.
And in this darkness I continue to seek for the little girl that you stole and I will not tire till she is not in parts but together with contentment and is whole. 
I have no resentment and carry no shame only sadness for you having to live with the blame because I pass it to you now I pass you the blame and take back who I was and release all this pain.
I hope that your mind doesn't destroy your last years and I pray that your nights don't leave you in tears. Know that I love you and forgiveness is in me and maybe one day you'll find the forgiveness you need to also one day, finally be free.