Too late

Writing words is redundant 
like me 
What the fuck is .my point of  view even pointing to
Don't listen to me listen to you.
I'm a fucking animal that belongs in a zoo
Caged in by lies and frustration
Frozen in fear
Fooled myself into thinking I was fearless
Now I couldn't appear less
Lingering around life a little too long
Ticking time bomb
Fucking tough guy asking my reflection why'd it go wrong
Refusing refreshing views offered freely
Dumb looks when you don't believe me
No belief in my own self
Drinking the disorder deeper into oblivion
Like its good for my health
Adding more misery to the hell I'm already living in
Fucking asshole
Yeah I match the description
Maybe I'm the definition
Every night I hope with all my might
When I wake up it might be different
Hoping for impossible things brings even more disappointment
What times my euthanasia appointment
An old dog dumber than shit unable to learn new tricks
I'd be rich if I had a nickel for everytime I wondered why'd I do this
Dominos are designed to fall
I cheated  you all
Leaned into unconditional love 
Like a proverbial wall
Turning back to whatever the fuck I am as quick as I can
When the threat to my well being departs
So many Marks I left on people doing what's right
Invite all the pain this pussy universe can conjure
I thought there was nothing I couldn't conquer
When in reality actually I'm an embarrassing failure
Somehow sometime something convinced me I was an exception to all rules
Walking around calling you all fools
Completely confused with the concept that life's a game where I win if you lose
Guess who's crying now
Too many sighs to sort out
Countless questions leaving me breathless
Shaking my head asking myself how
I can't come up with any actual answers
Losing it looking at faces expecting explanations
Constantly  constructing versions of the truth
I do it for me but say it's for you
No shit I can't sleep at night
Losing a losing battle I lost a long time ago
I'll let go of your heart
But where in the fuck did mine go