too late:

~~Am I too late again?
Or will I get another chance
To show them,
Show me
The value I am,
The value I hold,
The value I need so desperately?
Or am I too late again?

I was late last night.
Too late
And nothing to do,
To say,
Or to change
That would make it a dream within range.
Something I can’t change.

I was late last month,
Too late.
A razor in hand,
Some marks on my arm
And a feeling of alienation.
Do I rule my body,
Does it belong to me,
Should I hand it over and lose life slowly?
The realization hit me but it was too late.
Will I forever struggle to control my addictions?
Am I in control,
Or is it too late?

I was late on that day
When it all hit me;
A bug in a flytrap was all that I’ll be
If I let them,
And help them,
And teach them that I
Will follow the lead
As long as they pull my strings,
And tug at my side.
I’ll go with the tide.
I’ll be what they’ll be
If they so desire.
I never will tire.
But it won’t be mine,
I sure did realize;
And what will I see when I close my eyes?
My life will flash before me.
And on that day
I will say,
What I was and they were
Is one and the same;
A one sided game.
And what was my name?
And what was my aim?
I’ll wallow in shame
But it will be too late.
And when this all dawned on me
It sure was too late
To go back and fix
My mistakes.
That day of realization sure came too late
Too late.