Tornado of life

No childhood memories to be proud of 
No time I think back on & when, 
The happiness swirled when growing up 
Memories no longer haunt me then, 
No father & just a mother in all 
Primary school problem & things I missed, 
Growing up & falling in love many times 
Heart & soul given to those I loved & kissed, 
I look back & realise now, I had no structure 
Living with my body & mind everyday, 
A whirlwind,dark tornado following me around 
Wars in my mind, whether to leave or stay, 
Sadness close to madness, dragging me on
Hatefulness for the world & what we do, 
A daily question I ask myself, where is my place 
A calling, my mystery is what I went through, 
Good hearted & loving I try to be 
I deserve to be handed a different card, 
I & we had nothing & will leave this life
Why will be my question, & lost answers scarred.