Totally Absurd

Time for some more sillies
“D'ya know what burns my ass?
A flame about THIS high!”
Heard it before?, I ask

Got about a million of 'em
Stay tuned, here's some I chose
“If a cow laughs really hard
Does milk come out it's nose”?

“Do vegetarians eat animal crackers”?
“Is it good if a vacuum sucks”?
Did I just hear you say “what groaners”
That's why I'm paid the big bucks!

“Do bald men wash their shiny heads
With bar soap or shampoo”?
Good question, never thought about it
Shinola is what they should use!

“Does a mailman deliver his own mail”?
Do we actually still have mailmen?
“Why say 'bye bye' but not 'hi hi”?
Never thought of it, dear friends

“If feathers tickle us human beans
Do feathers tickle birds”?
“Do deer only cross at those yellow signs”?
Now that is totally absurd!