Truly Trapped

I don't know who I am.

I don't know why I hide my pain.

I don't know why I'm ashamed.

What makes me unique?

Why would tears be shed if I was lost to my darkness?

Ask the question

Get the answer.

You're beautiful.

You're funny.

You're smart.

You smile so much that it makes others smile.

None of that is unique to me..

So why should I stay?

What difference do I make?

Whose life do I really impact?

I'm sure he's happy he doesn't need to bother with me anymore.

She can't wait til I'm gone.

They get annoyed when I talk about myself.

And yet I care so deeply about all of them.

There's a chance

Just a chance

That if I was found

A rope around my neck

A bottle of pills in my stomach

A gun in my hand

A slash down my wrist

That the ones I love might shed a tear.

And that possibility

That I could add to someone's pain with my death,

Especially those that I love,

It's the only reason

My wrists have not bled out.

But would you really cry?

All of you will forget me one day..

Why not today?

Why not end the waiting now?

Why not leave you asking why

Instead of me?

Why should I wait to ask why you don't want me anymore?

To ask why you left me as everyone has or will?

Why not end the misery now..?

You'd all be better without me..

But I can't.

Because of that tiny chance

That it might hurt someone I love.

Truly trapped without even that way out

That everyone uses as a last resort.

So what do I do?