Twas another night before Christmas

Twas the night before Christmas 2018
and my eldest son, Sam, had just answered my dream,
when he'd looked up at me and said " mummy my dear."
" Would you like maccy d's? It's my treat, 'cos I'm here."
Well, everyone knows I'm a sucker for shakes ,
'n' burgers 'n' nuggets 'n' muffin type cakes....
so seizing my chance to milk his good will...
...added a flurry and pie to the bill.
Then thoughts whirring wildly at all to be done,
went into the kitchen, where Andy'd begun,
peeling carrots and 'snips, crossing sprouts like a pro....
Or not!!!...Because he had a spliff on the go!
And as every true stoner will know in their heart,
time loses meaning and life becomes art.....
Which is all very well for Banksy 'n' Trace,
but my lovely fresh veg was arranged in a face!
My temper resembled that little black knob,
my pressure gauge more than is meant for it's job,
but I honestly thought I'd regained some control...
...Until I set eyes on his broccoli TROLL!!!
Silently glaring,( which for me is quite rare),
I watched as he withered 'neath my icy stare,
and whimpering, slowly he slid from his stool,
like that kid that was constantly naughty at school,
then he scuttled away, nevermore to be seen,
while helplessly I stood surveying the scene....
Never a one to give up so soon,
I quickly dismissed all my niggles of doom,
and set to preparing our various beasts,
so tomorrow we'd all eat like kings at their feasts.
Lost in my world full of piglets in bed,
thoughts of the joy to come filling my head,
I was brutally wrenched from my sweet reverie,
by the blood curdling screams of said eldest, Sammy!
Throwing down tools, I raced in to help 
and watched as he let out a pitiful yelp....
His skin deathly pale...he struggled to breath...
As he uttered " Oh God mum! I just can't believe..."
"McDonalds is CLOSED for Christmas eve!!!"
I held that poor boy as he raged through his sobs,
about "Stupid perks" for take away jobs.
But time is a healer and true to his style,
he settled for pizza, though sulked for a while...
Twas still Christmas eve and much as I try,
I just couldn't wait 'till I'd finally lie
in my bed, knowing all would be well for the dawn.
But no! Instead I must stifle my yawn,
because teenagers rarely go early to bed ,
yet still their demands,in earnest, are said...
" We all know it's you brings the stockings at night."
" But wait 'till we're sleeping or it won't be right..."
Twas two thirty a.m. and the stockings were stuffed.
The kids finally fell for the threats I'd bluffed and sloped off to bed with their heads hung in shame,
casting looks of pure evil and hatred and blame!
So what, you may ask, has caused this shift?
For I hadn't said I'd take a single gift ...
I simply just told them all, right there and then...
That I would not get up until QUARTER PAST TEN!!!