Twenty Plus Years A Husband

(alternate title: well scored from a sir rated knife)
Oy Gevalt - Moi Ongepatchket Married Life -

or subtitled oh, how Bing a bachelor Would float my boat, now rife
with barnacles + scores years of strife
though now coon sitter ably less rancorous
altercations, than in early nuptial days with wife
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Once future spouse (Abb Z) found herself in family way
(with what would turn out to be the first of our two daughters – i do say
determined sealed decision per our rolling in figurative hay
to wed mother of thine deux female progeny
on an agreed upon green day.
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Both of us happened to be older grown offspring at ten times thrice
or three plus decades to be generally precise
our fate sealed no clay dice.
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Said age difference approximately a year and a half between us two,
miserably living with parents, which o’er years rancor grew
I agreed to pledge troth on premise i.e. this writer (christened Matt H)
aka king o' Scott the lighter found himself in the throes
of becoming potential dada, per dominant seminal striver aka darwinian fighter.
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Since neither of us took precautions, and thru caution to the wind
the inevitable (i.e. a so called bun in the oven) nonetheless tinned
tasting supposed verboten fruits branding us as having sinned
took us by surprise got us necessarily biologically pinned.
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Even though a decision to tie Gordian knot (more like a noose)
per donning trumpet ting role of future father tightened and n’er got loose
an inner conflict jostled against forming a legal wedded union – the deuce.
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Prior to taking legal vow be husband and wife
until death doth us part before justice of the peace
(which building, happened tubby a hopper, skipper and jumper
away from our domicile, this chap experienced posterior strife
worse fate than death, and mo' painful than constipation as if fife
ensconced within sans gluteus maximus constituted being cut by a knife
matrimonial bliss seemed note worthy as a tin whistle horn piper dreaming 
of his maiden, when subsequent years witnessed spiral arctic vortex
maelstrom chaotically rife.
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In truth, the prospect to marry
general milling and phumpher afore mentioned gal in particular
hardly filled yours truly with giddy excitement
but decision troubadour wished heed defer n tarry.
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Passive agreement to acquiesce by saying necessary “I do”
impregnating the woman named above transpired until her belly grew
swollen with future whip start star student no long a new 
student at university of Penna – mebbe counting sheep lined up in a queue
yet lately personal state of affairs, I chronically rue
n immerse myself reminiscing about yesteryear, and wonder why passivity
elected as way to escape hellish aversion living with dad n (late) mom
both in a boiling can a bull stew.
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Predilection to play Russian roulette avoiding any safe sexual mode
i.e. contraceptives to avoid unplanned pregnancy
shrugged atlas off fountainhead, while spermatozoa adhered to reproductive code
which absence to use birth control arose from animalistic lode
a propensity to procreate from natural urges that did goad.
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Now, less joy de vivre doth prevail
to remain monogamous and uphold strictures from this male
fidelity, integrity morality, et cetera buts ahead without fail
from rampant testosterone urge to become appeased, fulfilled, satiated
no matter this decades plus year bride and groom blindly entered
the unalterable sacred covenant, whence sexual need now does ail.
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After birth of daughter numero dos did arrive
preponderance of physical gratification took a kamikaze nose dive
whereat a dull tree for discrete liaison itched me for said pang to strive.