The Underground

At last I'm back in the open air
My head is thumping but I don't care
My feet are back on solid ground 
Must have sweated several pounds
The tube is gets so very hot
In jacket, scarf and hat ...the lot!

Hop on! In two seconds the door will shut
Squash up close or you'll trap your butt!
I wish you'd hold the bar down low 
Has no one mentioned your B.O?
I've come to London to visit the Queen
But I'm turning into a sardine!

Now I'm really getting stressed
I'm heading East instead of West
I've been standing here some time?
S**t...I'm on the Circle Line
Zombies all around me stare
Into space... They just don't care

Hop off! In two seconds the door will close
Such an amateur! Everyone knows.
At last I'm back in the open air
My head is thumping, there's dust in my hair 
My feet are sore and covered in blisters
Didn't think to bring any plasters!

I've reached my hotel...finally
Now...
HOW DO YOU USE THIS BLOODY KEY!