Unexpected death of a love one

Kiss me slowly and kiss me surely. I, with virgin lips, wonder if you will kiss me at all. Hold me close and hold me tight. Hold me and let me know that everything is all right. Whisper slow and whisper soft the words you never told. But you are gone far away. I dream at night and I sometimes dream in the day. You will be this way. You said when you come home you would be that way. But that is so far away. I think of you everyday. I miss staring in your eyes and you back in mine. I miss you calling me your perfect angel. I miss the sweet words you would say. I miss you. Everyday there is someone who suddenly becomes you. But when I get up to them to see if it is truly you. Their true form returns and I know that it was just a foolish lover's dream. Please, dear, come back home soon. I still have that old fire. I would be a liar if I told you I don't have a desire. I wish you knew. How much I love and miss you. I miss the touch of your hand. It  make me feel safe. Also at the same time, it makes my heart go wild. My world feels incomplete without you. Did I hurt you? For if I did, I am truly sorry. I don't blame you if you ever want to speak or see me again. I just want you to know that I will always love you. Despite everything, I will never regret loving you. It is probably the best heartache I have ever had. I do not love the pain but I do love you. I wish we could be together but cruel fate cut us off. It is neither your or mine fault but cruel and fickle luck. I know you will probably not believe me but I still love and miss you. I have shed more water from my eyes than a  river has in a year. I do know how you would feel if you were here. I feel as though it is all my fault but we know it is neither one faults. This thing called death has separated us from each other. It is breaking my heart in pieces. This is the kind of pain that never ends. I love you and wish for happiness for you in Heaven. Here I say Goodbye for now. Goodbye my dear love. But would you still love me? Instead of Goodbye, I will tell you the words you once wrote me. Keeping you in my prayers, and your face in my heart and mind, your name on my lips, I love you more than anyone or anything on the earth. I will always think of you. Love you, miss you, and will see you someday. not I hope but I will. If it is on this earth or in Heaven, I will find you. I will see you one day. Not Goodbye but see you later. My tears has become a ocean. The question though will that ocean bring you home to me?