Poem -
Uprooted
There’s a tree that shadows over me
Casting me in the shade
Draining away the sunlight from my face
Shedding away each blade
 I’ll stay sitting in your nest
Where you reared me
Where you held me to your breast
Once so softly and carefully
your roots they run through my veins
 i don't belong, i cant give you carbon
im the poisonous weedsÂ
that spread and take up your garden
You gave me the gift of air
But you take it away, i'm without
 I can’t breathe
Will we survive through this drought?
Â
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Comments
The tree is a metaphor for someone who reared me and who I feel most safe but who also is the the beholder of the capability to cause me that
pain.
Â
loved it - and your Irish even better -land of poetry-keep writing i will return -
Yes I'm Irish! I've honestly never thought of being good at poetry just found it as a good way of expressing. And being 19 I hope to learn and progress thank you and hope you'll read more :)
chloe~
Roots run deep, Chloe, and blood is thicker than water.
The only problem being is that when it comes to trees verses human beings, trees require water to survive.
Blood just ain't gonna do it.
Good use of metaphor here with the personification of a tree as it pertains to you and your life.
Good abcb rhyme scheme.
Well penned...
~Dean Kuch
Thank you for your generous response and time spent reading. Very true about blood thicker than water, your feedback is really appreciated.Â
Thank you!
Chloe ~
My pleasure. ;)
Thanks everyone for the reads such an achievement alone for my poem to be nominated in the contest :)
Congrats on the nomination! Â
Your story is so true as we come from the earth, the tree was the root of evil that held the apple for adam and eve, however using it metaphorically in your own way is a great justice that good comes from as well. "your roots, they run through my veins" tells the reader you are two of one.....
well done chloe.
Faith
FaithÂ
thank you so much for your lovely response! I hadn't thought about the story of Adam and eve it would've been great to tie that in somewhere as the poem is about pain and suffering! Thank you for the feedback and read. Love chloe~
Thank you everyone for nomination and read!
Dear Chloe,
The Serpent slithered down the tree
The one created you and me
Brought evil to "The Garden" pure
Will mankind now be able endure
Peace and Love,
Larry xxxÂ