Wandering doubt

Pain like this doesn't go away 
when you've seen the things I've seen 
your mind stops
you question yourself constantly 
do I think normal? 
do I seem normal? 
You look around and wonder 
if your life is even real 
if the things you've been told 
are true 
if the things you've felt 
are true 
If the things you've experienced 
are true 
or nah.. 
you don't remember 
you don't know 
your confused 
your stuck in a daze 
like a record on repeat 
your minds a mess 
you don't know what to do 
you don't know what to say 
the ones you love just go away 
no one stays 
you hate yourself 
and it's nobody elses fault 
but your own 
you regret your life 
the guilt eats through your throat
your so angry 
it knots your tummy 
you wanna scream 
and let it go
you don't know how 
to forget this feeling 
you feel so hollow 
like your hearts been 
carved out 
you fear your sinful nature 
but you can't seem to let it go
the bad dreams haunt you 
the whispers in the dark 
Are the memories that linger 
it's a constant cycle 
but you stay mute 
remember that 
when you speak 
people will leave..