Weed

Tears flow from my eyes, they freeze.
It is a pain you cannot see.
How to describe, I truly cannot.
Hot pokers, burning red hot.
It happens at the base of the skull,
No Tylenol, or even Toradol,
Can dull the agony so I turn to weed,
What a shame.
I always preached to my kids to not do the same.
Drugs aren't good for you.. but no other way to cope.
On a better note, atleast it's not coke.
If it's not one thing,  it is another.
I can't figure out why I even bother.
Now it's public, now you know.
I'm a toker....so!
I don't roll joints, don't know how,
The amount of weed I smoke here and now.
Added to my cigarette,  I call it tipping
It numbs the pain, so I am thinking.
Do I continue down this path and rely on this drug?
Feeling ashamed. Like a thug.
Breaking laws I don't know we have.
But what else can I do when it gets so bad.
I don't know anything about this stuff.
But I trust my supplier, when is enough.... enough.
I honestly do not like how it makes me feel.
But come on... let's be real.
I was woken up with this goddamn pain,
Do I need to find a better strain?
I get so hungry after I toke.
Dry mouth, but more focused.
What a joke!
I will NOT drive again for fear it will hit.
I fucking really can't stand this shit.
MS under control.
OA? who knows.
FM is ok as long as I smoke.
ON comes on with no heads up.
One minute I'm standing then I flop.
I cried for my son, asked him for assistance.
He's only 15, should be kept at a distance.
I don't think it's ok to get high.
In life it won't help you to get by.
But when the pain hits and you cannot see.
What else can I do, I wish to be free.
Free of pain, free of fear.
I don't want any of this to reappear.