WELSH LADIES WHO DINE

  WELSH LADIES WHO DINE            TIM WILLIAMS   JANUARY 2015

TWO ELDERLY POSH WELSH LADIES GO OUT TO DINE
ASK THE WAITER FOR A MENU AND LIST OF THE WINE,
NOW STELLA SAY'S TO CECELIA I THINK IT A CRIME
" THAT THEY DONT SERVE CHAMPAGNE BEFORE HALF PAST NINE "
CECELIA CAN DO NOTHING MORE THAN AGREE
AND PLUMBS FOR THE OYSTERS FOR STARTERS, POPS A GIN IN HER TEA
NOW STELLA WAS ONE NOT TO BE BEATEN OR OUTDONE
ORDERS THE KING PRAWNS AND A BLACKCURRANT AND RUM

AFTER THESE STARTERS THE GIRLS MAIN COURSE ARRIVE
CECELIA ORDERED GAMMON, WITH PINEAPPLE AND A EGG THAT IS FRIED
WITH A CHEEKY LITTLE CHARDONAY TO HELP IT SLIDE DOWN
AND A SMALL SNIFTER OF GIN TOPPED WITH A RUM
BY NOW STELLA'S STEAK HAS ARRIVED
THEY'VE REMOVED IT'S HORNS AND WIPED IT'S BACKSIDE
THE WAITER ASKED HER POLITELY " MAAM ANYTHING TO DRINK "
" A BOTTLE OF BOLLINGER CAME THE REPLY WITH A WINK "

ON TO THE SWEET AS THE MORNING WEARS ON
STELLA GOES SHERRY TRIFLE, CECELIA FOLLOWS ALONG
A BOTTLE OF RED EACH TO HELP THE TRIFLE GO WELL 
AND A BOTTLE OF WHITE HELPS THE CONVERSATION SWELL
COFFEE IS ORDERED WITH VODKA TO CHASE
SAYS CECELIA TO STELLA " WHAT A WONDERFUL PLACE
WE'LL COME HERE TOMORROW AND GET SMASHED OFF OUR FACE"
SETTLE UP THEIR BILL, SAY'S STELLA "LETS HEAD HOME I'LL GIVE YOU A RACE".

" AND IT'S STILL ONLY 11 O'CLOCK ".