What Honesty Looks Like

I don't know if this is something normal
Or whether or not it's a problem.
No card, no cuddle, no kiss, no floral
Could stop and get rid of this depression.
I wake up and just think, what is the point
Of carrying on if this is how I'm 
Going to be feeling, aching joints,
Anxious, as if I've committed a crime.
I am constantly wearing a mask
That's beginning to show brand new cracks. 
So if you do see me, i beg don't ask
How i am because my character lacks
Energy to conversate with people.
I'm sorry if i snap. I'm sorry if
I put my mask back on. It is feeble 
Even attempting to get through this shit.
"You'll get better" or "it's okay to feel
This way". Just go away. I've heard this so 
Many times. Nothing gets better. It's real,
And that's what hurts the most, it can't just go
If I want it to, unless i draw blood, 
And drain it from every part of me.
I wish I was a kid again, playing stuck
In the mud instead of wanting to see
The light. I honestly don't know what to
Say anymore. I'm depressed, and that's that.
I promise, I'll try to see it through,
And make sure I'm not at death's welcome mat.