What Is Beauty

I look in that mirror and I place powder to my cheeks,
I curl my lashes and do my hair,
and I tighten my belt one more loop
hoping that she won't comment on the scale.
I check myself in the mirror once, twice, three times
checking to see if the girl reflected back is beautiful enough.
because the truth is I need her approval,
but I fear the words she might say instead,
"you gained weight", "you need to fix your hair", "a little makeup would help".
I know people say don't listen to that, 
but when it's your own mother's voice how couldn't I? 
My brother is perfect and muscular, my sister beautiful and thin, and I'm......
What? What am I, Mom? 
What am I to you? 
Am I good enough like they are or am I dumb to think I ever will be?