What is it you want???

We met on a dark September night
Me escaping to the yard to listen to the jazz floating down from the hotel above
And you to smoke your tobacco and chat to the ladies.
It was the height of festival
The twinkling lights, the quiet lapping of the ever present sea and music floating through the air from every club and bar in town.
You in black with your red hair and Irish eyes and Me in my festival finery, raven hair flowing, Amber necklet glowing in the ever present lights.

You followed our party home to the lighthouse where you played the Jester and strummed Bob.

Now 4 months have elapsed and I know your dances with the darkness.
Alcohol fueled nights of madness
Drugs that lead to crashed out sadness.

You lodge with your long term ex lover and business partner
Whom you'd built a life with long before that fateful September.

I live alone with my thoughts for company, Black cat at my shoulder and the sea lapping at my door.

What is it you want???
A LOVER? A MISTRESS? A WHORE?
Someone to share YOUR MADNESS with?
ALL THE ABOVE? And NOTHING MORE???

I long for a gentle touch
For poetry in the park
Winter picnics on the cliffs
To walk hand in hand
Through the town where you are so well known as half an existing equation
And public shows of affection are verboten.

I am free to travel with the wind
As latterly she brought me to these salty shores
Perhaps my fate will change with the winds and I'll be blown unto a distant shore
Where with my love for music
I can begin to dance once more.