What’s wrong with you

“What’s wrong with you?”

Your favorite thing to ask
Whether or not I have on my mask
You don’t see my internal battle,
So I know you’re not asking about that
You’re asking with disgust in your eyes,
Oblivious to my cries for help
You don’t see it
I know you don’t mean it

“Nothing” I say.
Not like you care anyway.
You change the topic
And there it goes again
A change to get help
And stop living in pretend
But I don’t need it,
I’d rather help myself than burden you
Because I know your motives aren’t true

When you ask me that
I see through your “concern”
You don’t care about me, you just yearn
To let me know I’m weird,
So I try to lock away my fear
Turn my mood around,
And start acting like a clown

Laughing, dancing
Giggling, singing
I try my best to be the me that I’ve repressed
The me that isn’t afraid to be judged,
The me that’s alway buzzed,
And high on life
But that’s not me
Pretending makes my chest feel empty

What’s wrong with you?
You ask again
This time embarrassment was your intent
I’m upset I let you get to me again
I’m upset because no matter how much I pretend
You’re never satisfied
How much more do I have to try?

Red hot shame floods through my veins
My mask goes back up,
I’m back to being stuck
In this cycle of sadness that never stops

What’s wrong with you?
I have no clue,
There’s two parts of my heart telling me what to do
One piece is broken
The other is outspoken
They are the two parts of me
I never let anyone see
Battling and embedding themselves in my head
I wish I were dead

What’s wrong with you?
I wish I knew