Whether It Is Nobler

Tried to write something philosophical
But the strain on my brain was immense
Heard something whir then POP
Thought to myself, “that can't be good”
Felt fine otherwise
But suddenly was able to complete
Complex mathematical equations with ease
Never ever been accused of being a genius before
But all of a sudden I was able to figure out
The meaning of life among other amazing feats
Then a vision of my Mummy dear
Who passed away in nineteen-seventy
Reached out and patted me on the head
And said, “I'm so proud of you, my son”
“Was just talking to Albert Einstein yesterday
And he told me they were preparing
A special place of honour for you up here”
Belted myself on the side of the head
To make sure I wasn't dreaming
I wasn't dreaming!!!
Nearly swallowed my dentures
Started coughing and sputtering and reciting
“To be or not to be, that is the question”
Now I know I've heard that somewhere before
“Whether it is nobler...” Shakespeare perhaps
Well to make a long story short
When I return, all my good friends
Be prepared to greet a whole different Jack
A much more sophisticated Jack
One that will absolutely blow you away
With his new found smarts
One that you'll feel honoured to call a friend
And if you believe all of this
I have some valuable swamp land in Florida
To offer you at a very good price!