White Flag in The Air

Let me put on a show while y'all grab a window seat. Feel my window pain. Speak the words to make you feel the urge to fear the worst in me. Reach into your lungs grab the air from it, take your breathe away. Cause these days I walk a stray. Let me lace up my nike's I know they've seen better days. I felt like my soul and I was fighting so I step beside it. Fighting mastermind, I mastered time, but that's playing marco polo with my mind I lost it. I'm just different. I rather listen to the heartbreak songs of the good girl. I don't know it's just something about listening to the real woman who held her man down than a bitch who always said niggas ain't shit. Different perspectives from women who slept with a nigga with no contraceptives. I wanna disect your heart and find what I been needing in mine. Cause it's takes one with a unique eye to lead the blind. Sun light let me close the blinds. For so long I been so gone into the thought of being alone. Let it be known the place I was leaving was a home. I put myself in this position to explode. It was only a matter of time  before I connect the lines

And say fuck you and get into my old bag. Shove these words down your fucking throat make'em all gag. Step on toes make em irritated until they all tagged. Cause if anyone cross me I'll address them and get em dragged. I yes I said "I" made sure you were good in a good mental state. I made sure and helped you clean off your plate. "I" muthafucka don't dilute what the fuck I done for you. Hold this truth I deleted proof only cause they didn't see what I thought I saw in you. Your split personality get split in two. Your splitting image does damage to the only people who cared for you. Get a fan blow off steam. You did something good? It was on-screen. You feel the burn use sun screen. Light cuts through the dark and the dark gets darkening. I'm parking on the moon you'll soon feel the high. Touch the sky, swallow pride, take your time, you gotta live your life cause now police is taking lives. I been aching, oh the heart ache ain't gon break my mind. Stand up niggas don't lean I will always stand against you as long as I have a spine. I wonder how many days I have left before I get treatment for the way I been treated needed peace believe in things accept drinks whose still don't ease the insane. Fuck window pain I threw myself against the window shame now I feel window pain. I wish I had Erykah Badu to help me write this. Type this in a way that people would want to recite this. Make it into food for thought to where people would wanna bite this. Write this in a way to where their tears are too strong to fight it. Write this to where they see the name of the author and get excited. Write this in the likeness of the greatest from the bottom of the whatever I have in my chest I feel blessed to know that I'm associated with it. 

But I have so many questions like: why haven't my writing career took off yet? Am I that bad of a writer? Should I destroy all of my poems and set them on fire? Should I fall off and never touch this again keep everything bottled up and let my enemies start to win? Am I humbled enough? Am I doing too much? Am I doing enough? Why haven't i been nominated for poem of the month? Why do I feel like me doing this making me feel stuck? Why I think I got fans but when I post they not really giving a fuck? Should I be giving this up? Is it me or does it seem that for this bread I'm starting to become a cold cut? I put everything in this shit and I haven't blew up. So instead of connect lines they cutting lines and the bomb squad knew the one to cut.