Moongazer

[] - Cue this music
{} - Narration 
~ - 4th Wall break in unison to the voice of Jacobe. 
**- tone change 
 

I decided to give this poem its own section because it really deserves it. It’s a stand out from the storie I posted on here but I will link the story down below. It’s a google doc. You play the song on cue and let it go off. If you want to you can replay the song til the next one appears. Hope you enjoy

[The Weeknd - Alone Again]
 {~ why do it feel like I’m living someone else’s life?~ Like a Halloween costume, our lover boy Jacobe wore a mask a lot. He masked his feelings is this void of questions in side his mind. ~why do I feel so much better when I’m high? More….free.~  The partying he become accustomed to. The sex is meaningless because he doesn’t tries. He just returns to his now studio apartment filled with his painting’s, His writing that he frames, a lonely bed, tv, and a game. Jacobe still couldn’t find the peace he needed. He cleaned up his loft and moved out. He wasn’t in need of money, he had it in abundance. He cocooned himself in solitude. Solitude became numbingly uncomfortable and being oblivious only started a fight within himself once more. 

 He avoided mirrors, eye contact, even peripheral vision. This cocoon starting to feel oddly familiar. He’s going back to the way he always existed in the world. ~Invisible. Again.~ The others became butterflies for their own benefit. They blossomed like marigold flowers. Jacobe still hasn’t blossomed. Truth be told it’s his own fault. Jacobe fights his heart with his mind. It goes no where but leaves a headache and a heavy heart. Yet he still wakes up everyday. 

Dazed, confused, and In need of a mental rest. However, that didn’t quite happen. Working your mind to it’s full capacity to deal with emotions that constantly cloud your mind can be tiring. It’s a never ending adventure to that blissful embrace of home that seem so far away with each step he takes. So every night jacobe finds himself walking with moonlight shining upon him in his mind. ~you know have to let me out soon~ Jacobe for so long had a charm like an unused talent. He told himself he didn’t need to be that way. More importantly if he was that way, would he ever come out. It’s true he has a Stefan erkelle within him. He just never found it even though it’s like an aggressive dog wanting to get out. Til it stopped one day. For jacobe, the days were easier with it being quiet. He could finally be alone. But you know what they say about the quiet before the storm. His charming form some how made its sword like being to the deepest part of his psyche. Like the first time anyone has touch the ground of the ocean. Jacobe subconscious was being tampered with, manipulated. He laid his head down gently on his pillow as if his body ached for something. He laid there and ignored it to go sound asleep. Jacobe mind goes dark. He can’t see nor figure out what’s going on. As the existence of an observant universe in it’s large scale of evolution from the first thing that happened in first moments of being there, a big bang went off. It zipped through so many memories and messages. It stopped at this park with no distinctive features but a lake with an ongoing fireplace. 

~Are we all worthy of love? Or is it survival of the fittest? Who am I really to demand love? No! Who are they to tell me that everybody can’t be loved? Properly. To it’s fulfillment. Even if it’s for one night. They’ll know it in it’s entirety.~ Awakened from his sleep Jacobe felt free. Free of his past self of self doubt and hate. Free of the scrutiny and harsh words painted on his thick skin. As he looks at his front door, he sees an open cage as if he’s being released to the wild. With his heighten sense of sight he saw his black tiger ring but the eyes glowed. It sparked jacobe’s like an ember brought to a raging fire. He put the ring on and walked out leaving his home to be just a mere gallery of his past. As vivid as those pictures were, Seeing jacobe walk out of his apartment was a painting vivid on its own. He walked The San Louie strip on a Saturday night. Surrounding him was the after hours. You’d find it all at this time. Jacobe only found himself as he idled by it all. Drowning out the worldly desires. ~you said you were awake. Are you?~ Jacobe walked til his tireless legs finally gave in from this sense of guidance. He finally noticed by the sense of his subconscious he stopped and stared at a fire. ~is this all there is to it? No! I have to expand. Think deeper but look wider.~ As he became aware of his full surrounding he noticed the full moon reflecting next to the flame. The broader his view became the more he discover the eye shaped pool with the fire as the pupil. There’s more to his eyes than we speak of. His eyes showed his fire as it point to the moon in inspiration. The fire was the compassion and desire for freedom in his heart. For the first time in a while his beastly charming spirit was set free. It was if the moon had smiled on jacobe and the universe spoke. A woman out of his view came and talked to him. “Hey I didn’t know other people came here too. You okay?” Jacobe turned around and saw the woman who had spoke to him with such a lovely voice. He looks at her to download data as her curvy figure intrigued him. All in the moments notice jacobe finally figured out the inevitable due to his confidence, wit and charm. He flashed a smile, looked her in the eyes and said “yeah I thought I could get closer to touching it. It seems so far away to touch though” as hung his head in dramatic sadness. “Awwwn it’s okay we all wish we were there. The sense of euphoria in looking is still second best. And is what we must settle for.” She said while staring at the full moon above their heads “nah can’t think that. Everything has poetry even the universe. And in poetry, euphoria is in the hand who writes it.” She smiled back at him in a gush as jacobe’s fire like eyes told a story to her. “Well then what’s the poetry in it then mister poet” she said as she wave her hands in exaggeration as if she pretends to believes him.  Acting as a master for flow and touch jacobe’s walks to her and says “let me show you. May I touch you? I promise I washed my hands.” A question asked no man before. She dropped her guard then jacobe proceeded first standing in front of her.}

~* This Poem Is Called Moon Gazer. I Dreamed Of A Girl Named Moon. When I First Saw Her She Took My Breath Away So I Put My Hand On Her Neck. {smooth as he wants to be Jacobe places his hand on the woman’s neck} She Always Seemed So Far Away So I Pulled Her In Close. {Can’t slick a can of oil jacobe pulls her in close by her neck} She Always Stood In Front Of Me So I Stood Behind Her. {He shifts behind her as she feels his breath on her the whole way.} She Felt So Hideous In The Night So In The Nights Sky I Showed Her, Her Reflection. {He points the moon as the women looks with her starry eyes.} I Tell Her “Look At You. You’re So Beautiful Most People Don’t Even Know What It’s Like To Have You. Even For A Night. No One Can. I Am Merely A Moon Gazer. Cause If I Had You I Would Never Let You Go. ~* 

{Jacobe then wraps his arms around her as if he gotten lost in the writing like a bear trap in the woods. And here’s where she steps right in. She turns to jacobe with a tear falling from her face and says “I wish I was somebody’s moon” To deliver the final blow jacobe stared into her eyes to see her soul. She saw him as a blanket to get wrapped in. He saw her as a feast to be devoured. “I’ve only ever dreamed of her but never really saw her face. Now that I see yours I was wondering could you be my moon. Even if it’s for the night?” [Ari Lennox - Chicago Boy] She took the lead in taking her clothes off and kissed him like she wasn’t gonna see him ever again. Jacobe picked her and carried her to lawn chair and bent her over it. With their intensity heightened it was love at first entrance. The feeling of a servant to fulfill her every need. Versus the feeling of a good meal digested in the stomach of a hungry tiger. If she didn’t feel where jacobe was coming from jacobe pointed to the reflection of her getting her back broken in and said “~*LOOK AT YOU. YOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL. IM SO GLAD I COULD HAVE YOU TONIGHT*~” Jacobe finally new he was home. }

https://docs.google.com/file/d/11sJrMWcEICP189xUpgsRZnDbluXARnY1/edit?usp=docslist_api&filetype=msword