Who am i

The longingness I have to live. You wouldn't understand what it's like. Not living any day of your life. Constantly being pushed inside a bubble. By yourself. It's true what people say, nobody truly knows the real you. 80% of the time I can't control my own thoughts or understand them. My whole world is falling on top of me brick by brick making me feel heavier and heavier. I struggle to breathe. As my bubble gets smaller and smaller I wonder if it will ever pop. Who am I ?