Why did you have to leave?

Why did  u have to leave?
Why did u have to go?
When times are bad who can I turn to?
No one knows me like you know....
You're my dad and will always be,
Dead or alive,
You mean so much to me....
It's been 6 years since you parted,
32 years since my life you started,
So 26 years of perfection,
26 years of having that special person to look up too and feel their loving protection.
26 years being loved the way I love my own kids.
26 years of causing u problems, anger and stress,
But through it all I was still your perfect blue eyed boy,
No matter what I done,
to you,
I was always the best.
Over those 26 years you still loved and forgave me for every little thing I done or did, 
You still loved me just the same,
Even the days I tested your nerve and rattled your brain.....
Not having you here is driving me wholly, deeply mad insane.
6 years have passed and I still feel the anguish and pain,
at not being able to tell you I love you again and again and again.....
I love you dad,
You are sorely missed,
Please be looking down at this moment and catch my carefully blown Kiss...
feel it's warmth and feel it's love and send one back,
From heavens above.
I know you're there dad but it's frustrating much,
to not smell your dad smell or to not feel your gentle dads touch.
Frustrating to the point where I just want to be up there with you,
all of us,
sod it ,
I'd bring the whole family too....
Frustrating as every time i think of you a tear comes to mine eye,
Each time a different wave of emotions floating by.
happy that I'm thinking and remembering all my happy thoughts,
but then sad as I know I can't relive any of them again as you are not here and had to take leave.....i dont blame you dad but why did you leave? Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx