Why must life be like this

Why must life be like this , asking if today we will have food to eat  if today I will make it on time to have a home, why must it be like this wanting change pursuing change and always falling short being prey to the snakes and those so called friends; 
today I almost died to see if the pain would stop I imagined my thoughts finally silenced , i took a breath and the bullet did not leave the chamber  i paused and thought how many people must go through this and how many finally silence the mind.
why life must be like this such a struggle to stay alive that no matter how much effort is put is never enough the demand will always be high ...
Even having money seems not the solution for it goes faster than all the work put into it 
why must it be like this not knowing what tomorrow will bring if I will have another chance to change this path that was given to me ..
..................................the mind is such a dangerous thing if it turns against you ...            sad poet