Words Unsaid

When i hear ur name I hate it and it hurts and I remember everything we said to each other every word. And I wish I could go back if only for a day tell you all the stuff that I really wanted to say. And how much it hurts and it was hard to move on cause I hated to admit that you were really gone. This big hole this emptiness in my heart this pain kills and I cry and my happiness just dies. I wanna call you everyday but i know that'll make it worse but letting go of someone like you i swear to God hurts. We used to do everything together and talk all day long and boom just like that it went so very wrong. You were gone I was hurt and I thought it couldn't get any worse but just going through the days without you felt like a curse. I blamed myself for every thing the day that you left because i messed up and I'm sorry I couldn't give my best. I couldn't protect you and I didn't make it better and I was begging God please bring her back go get her!!! Bring her back it wasn't her time to go I never got to say what I wanted and now shell never know. Can she hear me does she know I miss her from this far I talk to God and ask him where you are. I ask him to look out for you because i never could because i know what we had was so good. I was wrong and I thought i messed up your life please forgive me some how because this guilt is stabbing at me like a knife. So you know who you are and this one is for you and thanks for always being there for me and helping me get through. And even tho I said goodbye doesn't mean ill stop caring about you because at the end of of the day it was you who pushed me to accomplish what I thought couldn't do. Unknowingly I miss you everyday I hope  your doing ok and...This is me saying those words I never got to say.