The World from the Shadowlands

i'm not seeking an end to this sorrow, 
because i feel that feeling as sad, 
broken, remorseful as i am 
might propel me 
to doing something 
about changing my existence 
for the better, not temporarily, 

but permanently. 
i want this summer 
to be the summer 
whereby i effectuate this change, 
effectively return to the world 
from the shadowlands 
in which i've existed for so long.