Poem -

YOU NEVER BROKE ME

YOU NEVER BROKE ME

My mind is a dark place to contend with each day. 
While raising my children I locked these thoughts away. 

I was my parents daughter, loved and cherished. 
Through no fault of their own this was totally dismissed. 

Placed into a system. 
Corrupt and wrong. 
I was never protected. 
Raised in an institution misled and neglected. 
The people they placed me with were highly respected. 

People of a Catholic faith. 
To speak bad of them was such a disgrace. 

Four years of age scared and alone.
Away from the place id known as home. 

Confused and frightened unsure who I could trust. 
Mentally physically and sexually abused. 
Looked at with discust. 

Placed into a cold bath with sheets when I'd wet. 
Followed by a beating I'd never forget .
Terrified to drink at night incase I did the same. 
When I woke I endured the same treatment again. 

I always thought it was my own fault for  wetting the bed.
Now I know it was the fear in my head. 

Any food I refused, to be then force fed. 
Id gag struggle and vomit till my face was red.
Id swallow this down with the contents of my stomach.
Or a beating I'd get for causing such havoc. 

Being pulled out of my bed at night for your filthy dead to be done. 
I'd then lay awake wishing daylight would soon come. 

The days and nights all became the same.
I often wonder how I'm sane. 

I thank my bloodline for the strength in my viens. 
Discust and pity for you is all that remain.

You think I should of been thankful.
For the care you was giving. 
Each day I was numb with fear. 
That was not living. 

I have many unanswered questions.
My body suffers anxiety sensations.

My mind isn't moulded with resentment or hate. 
Now in 2019 it's never to late. 
Your day is coming 
You'll be held accountable for what you have done. 
The pain you left just for your own fun. 

Those who felt they had the right to abuse me.
Your days are numbered you've not many free. 
You know who you are, so I hope you read above.
Cause soon you'll loose the life you love. 

Caroline Coyle. 
 

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Comments

author
caroline coyle

Thank you in advance for anyone that takes the time to read. This is experiences I suffered as a young child. I found the courage and strength to speak about it after years of struggling with my thoughts. 

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author
Gerard McGowan

Ohh my god Caroline, this is absolutely horrific, I don't know where you find the strength to carry on in life, I applaud you for your courage and hope the filthy humans that have created this irreversible damage see justice and ultimate karma.

Love and light to you.

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author
caroline coyle

Thank you  Gerard Mc Gowan so much for you comment. It took me many years to have the strength to speak about this openly. For many years I was ashamed of what is endured. 
Thank You again 

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author
Nigel Cresswell

Immensely powerful write full of the anger you so rightly feel. It is great that this country is finally recognising the long term damage done by childhood abuse and has started prosecutions. The other thing that comes over very strongly is your strength and your spirit. I sincerely hope that seeing your abusers convicted finally frees you from the damage they did. When a crime never stops hurting the victim there can be no statute of limitations.
Your day is coming Caroline, stay strong.
Yours
Nigel

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author
caroline coyle

Thank you so much Nigel.  Your words mean alot. 

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Ebrahim Alkadi

in this life there a less of justice, but sometimes the right back to the victim , but in the judgment day you will get your full right in shaa Allah....be strong and wish you the full peace in your life.

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Tony Taylor

WOW!!..... powerfully moving...... and filled with "Oh My God" moments.... but then delivered with well considered poetic timing, rhythm, and a strong rhyme scheme!!......a poetic narrative piece not to be easily forgotten!!......A STUNNING début piece Caroline!!.....ALL STARS!!..... bravo to you for having kept your sanity!! 👏👏👏👏⭐👍🐧......and.......WELCOME to COSMO!!....... LOVE & ROCKETS!!........T xo ❤

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author
caroline coyle

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR AMAZING FEEDBACK.  THIS IS SUCH AN AMAZING GROUP THE TALENT OF WRITING IS OUTSTANDING. THANK YOU FOR READING MINE. IT MEANS ALOT XX

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FRANTIC FREE-VERSER

"You'll be held accountable for what youv'e done", it might not be in this life, but in the next.
i firmly believe that.
such powerful words that i can identify with.

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Kristen Landrum

wow,that was truly inspiring. you have such a gift and i hope you continue to write. it was so detailed and that’s what i loved. i hope things are better now. best of luck 

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Jill Doherty

Oh my dear beauty... I am sending you an ocean of love and warmth 💗💗💗
Just, wow wow and wow! I would love to show you how each person who reads this poem sees you, an astonishing pillar of strenght. Abuse is so so complex and usually repeated by the victim hence the vivious cycle. You however, walked what is called in psychology the heros journey. Its when the viticim bottles their pain, directing internally instead of externally. You are a pure soul and not only will speaking out free you, it will free others also. I dont know you, yet I am so proud of you. 

A trillion well dones 😊

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author
Jill Tait

❤️to you & Well Done Caroline Coyle ❤️

Reply