Poem -

Your mind, a lurid place

Ava Gonzalez avarosee4@gmail.com
Your mind, a lurid place 
By Ava Gonzalez
Your mind can be a lurid place.
You thought as if it would keep you safe.
You wish you could slow things down
However your thoughts can get so loud.
It feels as if the night is too long.
It feels as if everything is all wrong.
Things that are so familiar start to feel so wrong
Almost as if you are forced to stay in place.
Will things stay like this for too long? 
You start to doubt what is even safe. 
Time starts to pass around you but it takes too long. 
And yet you still try not to let yourself down. 
However you still drag around what is bringing you down. 
You watch yourself do everything wrong.
That’s when voices get loud. 
You try to think of a happy place.
Maybe that’s what will keep you safe. 
Then you find days too, start to feel so long.
Feeling alone you start to wonder for how long.
Eyes closed, you can’t help but to keep your head down.
This is when you know your thoughts aren’t safe. 
Never questioning that those thoughts could possibly be wrong.
Darkness consumes you in this cruel place.
Laying sleepless you now see how silence can be so loud.
You try to fill the silence with music that is loud.
Hoping that it will keep you from thinking for too long.
You wish you could leave this awful place. 
You wish you could take those thoughts down. 
All the while you act like there’s nothing wrong. 
Yet you know there’s nothing that could make you feel safe. 
Keeping your feelings confined is the best way to keep safe. 
Feeling as if you have been robbed of words is what keeps you from being loud. 
You put your best face on for the world even if it’s all wrong. 
You hope you do not have to stay here for too long. 
You fake another smile and just pretend like your not down.
Nothing’s ever really going to change, that’s why you are forced to stay in place.
You always thought life was supposed to keep you safe. 
You never imagined silence would be this loud. 
More than anything, you wish you could realize your thoughts are wrong. 

 

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