You're Never Far Behind

I feel stupid
My heart is numb
I feel worthless
And [expletive] dumb 
Expected the world to be at my feet
Got surprised with nothing

No love lost, no chances there
I was the only one who trully cared
And tried to win back what was gone
And now I’m far beyond

Did I really think it’d change a thing
Did I really believe it was happening
Again I let my feelings flow
But the door was closed

And now I’ll look up to the sky
I’ll curse the angels and my life
For again leaving me all alone
In this beach to dry

Stupid me thought it would back
The feelings jump right out of the sack
And quite innocently I believed
That you’d be back to me

But it ain’t that easy, it will take work
It takes more than just a couple words
I need to show with all my might
That I’m willing to fight

I’ll push back against closed doors
I’ll glue back pictures that were yours
And hopefully you will believe
You’re the one for who I live

Oh it stings, it hurts so bad
To see the heart that I once had
Be in the hands of someone new
Oh I don’t have a clue

It tightens up around my throat
Burns all down to my very core
I feel the envy in my eyes
I’m supposed to be fine

I’ll lie to you, right to your face
I’ll say I’m okay, while on the chase
Trying to find the best way
To make you mine someday

The reality is hard, I will not see
That you won’t ever be back to me
My chance once was, but is no more
I’m laying down on the floor

The fight was hard and I tried again
I wrote a message on the sand
But the sea rose to take it away
I’ll just wait for another day

I’ll try chocolate and cutesy things
I’ll make a box that in the night sings
Anything to make you feel 
That what we had was real

Regret is large, but it’s meaningless
It won’t help me in this game of chess
It won’t show me the way to go
Or which road to follow

I must reach where I never did
Find the words that were never said
And in my actions demonstrate
That we were bound by fate

Please look here, just once more
Tell me to go, and that you’re sure
And i’ll promise to not return
No matter how bad it burns

I won’t live, no not again
Without you I don’t think I really can
You’re always on my mind
You’re never far behind