APOCALYPITC WEDDING FAILURE

 Our June wedding happen to fall on one of the hottest days on record. But that in itself was not the problem. No, I’m no bridezilla, expecting a perfect day, for the perfect wedding, but the idiocy of some people can exasperate any already fragile situation.

 I could sweat it out the heat, because I wanted to get married. But my Husband’s best man, just had to break the rules.  At the rehearsal the wedding planner made it perfectly clear that it was illegal to throw rice at the wedding.  To do so, was unhealthy and inhumane to all the little English sparrows that flock to nibble on the grains.  Once expanded in their tiny tummies, rice was none to kill these little avian wonders.

 But Husband’s jackass for a friend thought he found a way to circumvent the rules.  As we left the church, ate the weddings conclusion, he showered me with uncooked popcorn kernels as I left the church. The heat, combined with the little birds high body temperature spelled disaster for me and death to the little birds.

 Worst of all, was the popping noise the little birds made when the exploded in midair. At first I thought it was the sound of gunshots, and the blood and guts splattered on my Vera Wang were from bullet wounds. I went into hysterics, and my new mother in-law feinted. When the kayas subsided, I truly looked like a ‘Bloody Valentine’!

What a terrible day.