End Times

I found myself regaining alertness in a clinical bed. Three figures were by my side who wore ultra-clean white garments. My eyes immediately searched the large room for a forth one, an important one. Somehow I knew he was with them. By a large window he was looking out beyond the clinic, softly reflecting a light-source from outside. The unpleasant aftertaste and smell of sterilised surgical requirement lingered, much like having too much liquid zinc when your body doesn’t need it.

‘Here again?’ I said. Inconceivably, I did not know where I came from. My memory only served me for the here and now. I made a small protest and explained that I cannot endure this any longer. The three figures remained silent and seemed to understand the difficulty I was having. They avoided eye contact with me as I struggled with my memory. I could not place anything before this situation or recall my identity. I felt as if I was created for this purpose, or at least agreed to take part in it, whatever this purpose is. I was caught between clinical trials and a spiritual awakening. My former existence was
bleached clean. I could not rationalise if I was thrust in the future or the past, the flesh or the spirit. I considered a life outside these walls in the clinic, but my imagination could not stretch that far.

‘Julian,’ one of them says compassionately, as it removes a surgical mask, revealing a humanlike face. ‘You know you have to go back and finish this.’

I rose to my feet without replying and walked slowly to the window where the forth figure stood. This one is slightly different to the others, although not necessarily on a physical level, and I instantly felt a familiar energy connection. I could not place this old friend in my memory but I knew it belonged there. As we stood without introduction, I noticed that I was carrying my body like a much younger person, physically lighter. ‘Gravity’ enters my mind. 

The others waited around the bed, observing my every action with silent consideration. The tall figure beside me tipped his head ever so slightly to acknowledge my presence. He is mysteriously impressive, but I was too exhausted to put any effort into working out is identity. I simply trusted that we had been through this many times previously. I positioned myself to look through the massive glass-like windows. We were high off the ground, but it did not feel like it. We were still part of an earth, too. Skyscrapers were producing precise, geometric beauty. An impressive cliff wall ran along the right side of me, which was covered with lush plant life. I would describe it as prehistoric plant life, thick and deep in colour. On the left of me stood a magnificent city equally breathtaking in the huge crater-like setting. There was something wondrously alien about this world and it was only then that an artificial sense of belonging hit me. The personage next to me occupied my mind. I remembered civilisations that belonged to the past and forged their way into the future.

I saw how people built massive monuments and sacrificed their own kind to appease something that fell from the sky. I saw angels wearing space suits and building bombs. I saw how cities were built, not for our purposes, but for another agenda. I read ancient stories that were carved into impossibly built monuments. I saw priests summon evil spirits to preserve Holy Cities. I saw how there is no sense in laws that are only created to strengthen self-serving authority.

‘Come Julian,’ he says, ‘it is time to go.’

When he said those words, I could not push myself mentally to go back to that place, wherever that place is, for I had in a sense just arrived home. I face the bed with a sense of dread. A battle is looming inside me now and I challenge my perception of belonging in the present also, as if a drug is wearing thin again. In serious contemplation, I realise that I do not belong to any of the players now - not this species or the next. I wanted to cease existing altogether and end my homelessness. I was not in spirit form and neither were they. Maybe death, real death, is my real home?

‘Come Julian,’ the being repeats and directs me to the three others again.

Without an opportunity to protest, I am on the bed again, sitting upright without recollection of walking towards it. It mattered not anyway, for everyone received what they willed, including me on some uncertain level.

Someone else is in view and she was certainly not there upon my awakening. A pretty, slender young woman is lying on her side on another bed and looks entirely human, or at least as human as I thought I could have been. Together we are somehow going to fulfil
a purpose, I know this. She made me aware that I will not be entirely alone when I return to the place before this alien environment took me.

'Ripples of knowledge will bleed through you when your spirit is weak,' she said without saying it.

Her eyes told me it is going to be a difficult transition. They also shone with a profound determination to ‘finish this’. For a moment, I saw glimpses of the future where this strong, calming soul will enter my life via another avenue. I eased down onto my back and three figures moved in closer, shielding me from the procedure that came next.