Best served cold...a story by jude kyrie

She was made my boss at the precinct,
I know now my fifteen years service
meant diddly squat.
The new world was for women.
Women with education.
Women who looked  fucking amazing,
I am a dinosaur and I know it.

Do you know the worst thing.
I loved that woman.
She was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen..
Everyone at the station knew it.
She was on the rocket ship called success.
And I was on the treadmill of forever

Angie my partner and her best friend Alice  
saw me looking at her.
That conservative smart woman boss
who understood what the fuck I did
Was my boss.
But Jesus she was stylish.
She knew I was in love with her.
Fucking women, they always know.

I divorced my wife because  
cannot live a lie.
She wept and I wept.
It was not her fault.
Nor mine really.its just
She could never be her.

I knew it was impossible.
But fuck.
I loved her.
I got a call to look at a rape
Murder of a young woman.
I went to the site with Alice my partner.
I knew She wanted me
like I wanted my boss.
How fucked up is that.

I looked into the dumpster
and tears filled my eyes?
Fuck, fuck fuck.
It was Alice's daughter.Jess.
I burned in guilt.
Jess had called me to get a cake for Alice's birthday.
I told her I would pay for it.
But just two hours earlier my boss
gave me the riot act over my fuckin paperwork.
I am a good cop.
But I am shit at files and fucking paperwork.
But because it was her
and because when just the sight of her ass
in a skirt gave me a boner.
I missed my appointment with jess.
I could have saved her.
But I didn't.
Because of the that beautiful woman
that was my boss.

Ten years laterp
I quit the force
I was too guilt laden to stay.
But I worked the case on my own
Finally I zoned in.
On the asshole who had killed Jess.
I hit on all my old contacts
They got me seconded to my old unit.
My old boss lady
was now in charge of the the whole division.
And she was still so fucking beautiful.
She was kind
spoke softly to welcome  me back
we have  missed you she purred.

I asked her reopen the case for me
she was sweet and did.
Alice came in and hugged me.
I loved that plain homely face of hers.
And she loved me.
Like I loved my boss.
Ain't that a.fuckin. mess.

I told her I had spent ten years
tracking down her daughter's killer.
But she seen unimpressed.
She said the death penalty
was too fuckin easy.
A jab like a blood test
A slap up dinner.
Then .a sleep.
Fuck it.
I want the bastatds to suffer.
Year after year in a useless help home.
No escape just another damn day.

I chased the guy down
We brought him in.
He was ready to confess.
But then the DA came in and let him go,
Not enough evidence she said,
I told Alice I have found him.
But they just let  him go.

She whispered no honey it's not him,
She alerted my detective gene.
I went to her remote bungalow.
It was on ten acres of green.
I saw her walking to the barn.
I quietly followed her.
Opening the door ever so silently.
Inside was a jail cell.
A lost miserable scrawny man saw me first,
He dropped his miserable rations she gave him.
And he touched my hand through the bars.
Kill me kill me he begged.

She saw me and said I found
Him a month after
He killed my jess.
I remembered the death penalty
it is too easy story

My boss Claire had followed me as well.
She could arrest me on murder one.
I  did not care.
I placed my automatic revolver
on the table in front of the cell.andwent outside
I  picked up a shovel.
I looked up from his work
sweating and saw Clair
Not pointing a gun at me.
She was digging the grave with me
There was a single gunshot. In the barn.
And Alice walked out of her commitment
to her daughter Jess.
And we  all buried him.
Something the law was unable to do.

A year later
Claire held her wild.
Cowboy dinosaur detective in her arms.
She said I always wanted you, you know.
Why did you never do anything about it.
He smiled quietly.
and told her the truth 
the truth always works
out better my mom said.
I whispered
Because you always were and still are
Far beyond my reach,