For the child I almost never had a short story

• The child I almost never had
• Elizabeth was a busy person at forty three she was a crown judge she had worked tirelessly at the legal profession and at last she was a judge in london
• She focused on children and family issues having no time for gruesome murder cases it was just better for her conservative nature
• She was determined to make a difference in the world she probably would never marry but the law kept her busy anyway
• She found the type of men she worked with and occasionally dated somewhat boring and self centered usual telling war stories of their legal accomplishments 
• She went into her chambers like any other morning and asked the clerk what cases he for her
• She was in good shape for her age but years in her legal profession had taken it's toll she was what is known as a handsome woman of a certain age
• He read the usual cases of marital family issues and one for a young teenager who had leukemia cancer and required blood transfusions but the parents would not allow this to occur due to their jehovas witness religious beliefs and he was likely to die in the next week or so
• This was a standard case in most circumstances as the law protects the child under 18 so she could issue custorary ruling to do all to save his life and of course bood products
• Elizabeth was confused and felt she needed to see the boy herself to convince him of the life danger But the boy was adamant not to receive blood as he said the soul was in our blood and it cannot be mixed with an other person's.blood his life was in God's hands and no one else's life saving procedure 
• She went anyway to the hospital and saw him in his his room
• There she met Adam who was a bright intelligent teen who conversed in a mature way much older than his years
• She asked him if he understood what the blood transfusion would do there was his only chance at life the doctors feel that with the blood and two or three drugs he had a great chance of remission
• He said he knew but he was prepared to die and he welcomed by God
• She noticed a well used guitar by his bed and asked him to play 
• He picked up the instrument and played beautifully a Spanish love song
• She was amazed at how relaxed he was considering the hard life choices he was facing
• But she also felt relaxed it was as though they were old friends and in honesty she never felt relaxed when conversing with new people
• She had already made her mind up this young boy was not going to die on her watch 
• And she told him he was going to get the blood and perhaps get well again
• He knew arguing with this tough lady was futile
• She got up to leave the room and he said please stay I love talking with you don't go
• Elizabeth smiled and said I must leave I have a full docket in court today
• I will play you another tune 
• She capitulated and listened as he played his music it was a haunting melody
• What is your name he asked
• She said people in the court call me my lady it is how you address a judge in England 
• I shall call you my lady too
• Can I see you again my lady
• I am a very busy person and I have a backlog of cases to help other children 
• But you care or you would not have come to see me
• You could have just issued a verdict it's the law
• She knew he was right but she hated to admit he had touched her like the child she had never had he was a sweet intelligent boy and she had to save him from.his dammed religion and perhaps himself
• I am a judge I cannot see you again
• He shouted as she left I will find you a d see you again my lady
• She exited the room and returned to the court where she issued a ruling to allow the hospital to do as they could to save his life
• That night as time was of the essence he was given three transfusions to replace the blood that his body could no longer produce
• Three months later it was dull English fall day and Elizabeth returned to her flat in London and she saw Adam he was at her doorway absolutely soaked by the rain and looking at her
• How long have you been here
• All day my lady
• She melted and took him into her flat
• How on earth did you find me 
• I am good on the Internet and you are famous my lady

What do want from me she asked 

And

Where do you live

I have left home and the religion I have nowhere to go the elders have shunned me because of the blood

She looked at him and the child she had never had filled her mind and against her instincts she offered

Well you can stay here tonight 

He kissed her and she said I am a judge much older than you so act appropriately 

She was confused. Why did she have these feelings after all he is just a boy

She ran a hot tub and dried his clothes before putting him. To bed in her guest room

The following morning he had made her breakfast 

They had coffee and he noticed her baby. Grand piano he went to it and lifted the lid and played chopins sonata it was beautiful and Elizabeth was touched by his brilliant playing 

He was a special young man and there was no way she would let him go to waste 

The one night became a habit and he was still with her 

4 months later

They would spend evenings playing music and talking she taught him the important poets and authors he was avid student 

She had filled the gap in her life of missing the child or perhaps never to born child 

He tried to kiss her several times but she was older and wiser and fendeed him off

She realized he was filling a gap in her life this man boy was addictive she wanted to rush home to him each. Night 

It was then the darkness fell 

he was unwell the cancer seemed to have returned 

The hospital had the best oncologist in england but he said there is little hope

He lay in the bed looking really sick she knew he was dying 

He was moved to a hospice to wane out his remaining days

And she visited him all the time she had free

On a dark cloudy rainy day a harbinger of something dreadful

she arrived at the hospice and went to his room he was very ill

She said I am sorry I never let you make love to me

He said weakly 

You made love to me everyday you are the kindest woman I have ever met I love you milady
But I am filled with sadness 
What will I do without you
He left me with his last words much wiser that his Spanish of years
Sadness is just the remainder. Of all the love you have not used up

And then he closed his eyes for the last time and his breathing stopped

She kissed his lifeless lips

Elizabeth wept as he left this world

Saying between her tears I love you Adam

My name is Elizabeth not my lady

Back in her flat it seemed empty and silent

No longer the calming influence of their music

Or Adam chatting with her about everything except her time in court

She put a record on 

It was chopins nocturne his favorite piece

Suddenly she was not alone again

She was not a religious person 

Elizabeth wanted to have faith beyond anything 

She closed her eyes and could see Adam 

He was In a world where sadness and pain did not exist

He was sitting peacefully by a window

With his fingers pressing against the pane

And chopins beautiful melody 

Was playing in his heart

While she wept for the child she almost never had

She remembered his last words

That her sadness was just all the love inside her 

That she had not used

The end

Judes thought

Sometimes true love has little to do with sexual attraction