Box Of The Past

 Sadness drifts into her heart with not much to hold onto but the life of cats, struggle and the desire to be loved. A Time Machine of childhood is seeping up from the dirt and appearing on her lawn, faint and painful memories of what should all be forgotten years ago. But no.  What haunts her is not the occurrence but the lack of a clear and concise way of putting it behind her, watering the lawn and sending the lurid past down to that rusty metal box in the ground never to be dug up, never. She drinks her coffee, a blend of dark roast and  hazelnut, mixing even a beverage gives her a twinge of happiness, the kind we all seek from little things. A wonderful day awaits her and she is going to feel the power of her inner self to make it something special, fun and just for her.  The clouds have shapes today she sees as donkeys, several pieces of random fruit and a bicycle. Blue sky peers through the clouds and gives her a Liberal amount of love from the heavens above, the love she gets from nature is without rules or obligations, true love.  driving down the street she stops and waits for a family to cross the street, a family, tears come to her eyes, they are true and whole and beautiful. How she wishes she had just one child but it just never happened, she tried and failed. Sadness again, angst emotional scars of what she has no control over, none. She smiles and send them across the street and on their way. Her destination in sight she parks, checks her face for tears or missed placed make up and exits the car.  Her favorite restaurant is waiting for her and so is her beautiful sister, the best one ever, could not have been luckier in this department, on conditional love, understanding in the worst of times and generosity to a fault. Damn she is lucky. One piece of her past Seeps to the rusty box and stays in the dirt for a little while. Salmon or chicken? Hmmmm... her sister always gets a wrap of some kind but manages to never get messy.  Always since childhood two outfits a day were mandatory for her, never her sister, jokes from her mother at family parties, but true. The salmon wins, capers, wine sauce and broccoli… Yum. They discussed the family, her kids in college, the one in high school, miscellaneous parents and stepparents, how she has too many cats of course but they're taken care of and loved. Hugs before departure and she feels so love  and blast her sister has a way of doing that, ever since childhood. Back home to the cats waiting for her in her bed she plops down and reaches out to as many as are interested in being petted. A soothing feeling these animals, just like her sister the love will always be there keeping her go  through the tough days and reminding her that things could be worse, she smiles as she lays down on her bed with her kitties, thinks of her sister and decides she can make it through one more day, tomorrow will be another experience but she is strong and can water her lawn extra heavy tonight!