So I Move To My Own World

 So much mayhem to escape, but somehow I have given people what they needed in certain times of their lives when it has cost me so much, my dignity, my relationships, my hopes and dreams for the future. The very thing that we all fight for each day.  My pine trees will be gone forever. My meditation under them giving me wings to overcome what has so underhandedly been snatched from me like the devil in the night. He waits under the surface and battles me till I fall to my knees and give up. Just take it all. I do not need it anymore,  what I need is the one thing I have left. My cats, my ego, my life and the hopes to never fall like this again, knees so bloody not even a few Band-Aids will help. Bloody and dripping slowly down my legs like a glimmer in the moonlight showing me that down is not where I need to be. Clean myself up, throw some cold water on the gaping wounds and start over in a fresh and unscathed and less bloody territory. Shaking with the final days of this place I once called hell I now see what I was supposed to walk away with, what I was supposed to learn.  Fight for the love of the ones that betray you and they will never forget. They will remember next time for another person and give them what they deserve, the joy and happiness of knowing them not the aftermath left behind in their wake. Every day we learn something for a reason, to get through the days that are unfair  and unforgettable in the cloud of hell and the shadows of dreams left with a bitter taste of freshly poisoned ants and shit in a bag. Throw the baggage away, it cannot help you now or ever. Keep your life in an afterglow and let it raise you above what has been taken, prayed to be stronger than before and conquer.