Dont give up

       I grew up in a house hold where manners were important and natural beauty was worn best. I didn't live in a house in the hills and i didn't drive a fancy car. I actually walked allot ,and i would run when i felt in danger. The box cutter made me feel at ease ,so i  was okay. Mom saved up allot so i could go to a good school and i was grateful but sometimes i felt like i didn't deserve it. Our house was a small shack but over time i fixed it up as much as i could and then it was okay to live in it. It was just me and my mom and even though she was the my mom i was the one who kept everything together. She couldn't work because her she was sick and her English wasn't that good. I ended up getting a job when her illness got worse. I worked at a laundry mat every day after school from 4-9. Before my mom got sick she used to baby sit the neighbors kids and did a little of house keeping. I  took over, i just had too.

      I didn't have much friends ,and not because i couldn't talk. I could talk but nobody ever cared to hear what i had to say. I went to a school full of rich kids and white jocks . I remember i used to tell my mom that i wanted to go to a less expensive school so we could offered the house more,but she would hesitate. "No she said". "Es trabajo que yo ese para ti." She means "Its work iv'e done for you".I would smile and just walk off to my room,but you have no idea how bad i just wanted to change her mind. I didn't belong in that school. I wore jeans and plain tshirts and black shoes, everyone else wore things i never seen before. My little bit of pay went to bills and food for the week. I would get teased and i would keep my silence, why was i here? that was my question for the next 4 years in high school.

       Those years went by fast and the by time graduation came, i found my mom becoming even more sick. She looked worse and worse but she would hesitate again, i could never ask her what was wrong. She was always a stubborn women and she hated sympathy. One day after graduation rehearsal i came home and saw a paper ripped open and it said that the cancer had spread. I dropped down to the floor ,i was in shock, what i thought ? I Found my mom in front of the tv watching the news and i showed her the piece of paper. She looked at me and said "Es trabajo que yo ese para ti." It means its work ive done for you. I now understood what she meant, but all i could do was cry. I sat next to her and watched the news with her.

       I went to work during that weekend and kissed her on the head before i left. When i got home the house was quiet and the tv wasn't running. The house smelled like the perfume my mom used to wear when i was little, and i followed it up her room. Their she was laying down the same way she was this morning. For some reason i entered this stage of sadness and my heart dropped. I got closer to see if she was breathing, but she wasn't. i cried out "Mama desperta  desperate mama!!! ". I just wanted her to wake up but she didn't. The people dressed in white came and took her away, her body, everything. Instead of paying the house i payed her funeral, and instead of having her attend my graduation?- nobody did. I worked even harder to pay all the bills, i worked even harder to keep the house, i worked harder to be a better person. I think thats what my mom was teaching me along,and to never ask for sympathy. My life has changed allot since then and im able to afford allot of more things now, i got into college ,and and im now working a better job. I lend the house to a little old man from the shelter because i felt like he needed it more. I pass by the house time to time and when i do i can see flash backs of me and my mother.