I fell for my fuck buddy.

                Today I read old conversations between you, me, and the sky. I thought about how it should've been and what could've been. I stopped in my thoughts and said," I fell for my fuck buddy" and today I missed you.
Even though we hooked up multiple times it more then just S.E.X. It was the way we conversated and how you made me feel safe. For the first time in forever I felt like I belonged into someone's arms. But you disappeared  and I bet all my sad texts of confusion went straight to spam. I bet my messages sat their like a kid sitting on a bench that never got the opportunity to hit a base..even though we hit 3rd base. Go figure huh? 

                 Was it something I said? something I did? I guess it was my fault. I compared you to my ex but yet you still talked about yours. If I could take it back? - I don't know ..would you? I randomly thought of you today and I don't know why. My heart used to flutter every time I got the opportunity to talk to you. We shared long, stupid conversations together and today I reminisced them. The girl in leather boots with high waisted shorts and a heart full of gold is who I wanted to be A BDSM TRILL QUEEN. Who you wanted, and now im wanted by someone else. 
                Years have passed and I wonder if I ever lingered through you're mind? I wonder if you ever came across old stupid messages and thought of me? Was it good? Oh. I wonder if you're happy and if life has treated you well? Like many I'm trapped in isolation and only going outside to feed the dogs. Today I'm not alone because.Today I am LOVED, even if its just by myself. I think that's the best love you can ever receive. If you ever looked for me, just know I looked for you first and if you ever read this just know I declared it first.  
Im sorry even if you're not and mostly because it hurt.

                                                          BDSM TRILL QUEEN
                                                                       END.