Hely

I guess I really can’t say i know who I am other then the fact that my name isn’t really Hely. Or for the fact that my favorite color is pink, the only pink thing I own are my glasses. When things get bad for me I watch Jerry Fucking Springer because why the fuck not? 
If you’re going to tell me I curse too much then you should try it sometime..saying “Fuck you” feels good. It’s almost like doing yoga minus the yoga pants and the overrated hair bun look.
Yes, I’m 26 and still I haven’t figured out me yet. I used to think that after I turned 18 I’d know it all and be set. Nothing works that way and billion years later and I’m a hostess at a restaurant. People can be so mean an entitled just because they think they can get whatever they want. “The customer is always right” they say. What kind of shittery is that? No sometimes people are dick heads and will do anything and i mean anything to get whatever the hell they want for free. I hate it..I hate being talked down to by people who think they’re better just because they act like they have a higher title and I have to suck it up since,” The customer is always right”.I suck at confrontation and mostly because I don’t know what to say. If I speak the truth I’m the rude bitch if I don’t say the truth I’m a liar. So which one do I play today? I’m a rude bitch to the people who don’t deserve it and I’m sorry....I’m a liar to the people who deserve to know the truth. The ugly truth of how much they’ve hurt me, and used me. 
I know you’re asking me what I do to stay positive and what I do to over come terrible dilemmas...but in all honesty? I’m not sure..I just know that when im given that opportunity to write ...that’s what makes everything a little better. I feel like I can finally be the person I want to be, the person I was meant to be. For the first time in a while I feel at peace. So the question was, what do I do to over come tacky dilemmas? Well this is exactly it.

ps. I wrote this on my phone while working so I couldn’t write it on the right format!