Fish needs to talk
If you usually just read. Please please comment on your thoughts. I`d love to know your insight.ย
I wanted to discuss this as a story instead of a poem. Its just a difficult message to get across and I would rather say it in a clear format.
For me, life is a balance. My mind is a balance, and my health is a balance. But when you look at my life (God I am blessed and luckier than many), with absolutely minimal social interaction and my confidence, you`d think that these scales would have tipped far in the wrong direction.
I go through days without saying anything to people my age, and countless times to I do embarrassing, undeniable stuff.
So, what holds me back from the edge. It's always been my music (example attached). Whenever I feel awkward or immature, I use it as a barrier. Even here itโs hard to describeโฆ It's like almost if I feel that someone else can be scared by the music I play, that brings me confidence. Just listening to this music, which I enjoy constantly, brings me out of my problems and worries about how others look at me.
Is this narcissism? Maybeโฆ but if it wasnโt in my life, then I really doubt that I find it worth living. Because if we donโt believe that we are unique and, in some way, special, how can`t we think that our life is worth nothing? (double negative sorry XD)
That someone can`t just take our place.
And do it better than us.
I donโt know, just my thoughts, not even sure if I feel better or worse for sharing.
Let me know what you think
The Fish of the Sea.
ย
Comments
I have always gone through life watching other people and the mistakes they make, me trying to avoid all mistakes and embarrassment{ had to look at the way you spelled it} . I have found in life that it is impossible to go through life without being the fool at one time or another! Then I found that the richest men in the world got there because they weren't afraid to fail and with every one hundred failures they made a sale on themselves or with a product that made them millionaires! Nobody can do your gift [or gifts] better than you because your gift is unique, but you have to be willing to pay the price to find out what your gift is. The Savior said " knock ", " ask" ! Other people can point out what they see, and give clues. Prayer helps!ย Gather all info you can and take it to the Lord whom answers sincere requests of those that are ready to act upon the answer, no matter what it is. That is just one reason I admire courage and I am sure He does as well! Best wishes! and POETESSDARKLY said we should write a good Christmas poem, well at least she told me to! .Jim
Interesting Insight Jim, and it is so very true if we do not fail, how can we achieve, I just wish I didn't have to learn the hard way. Every single time. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. And maybe we could do that Christmas Poem together, Verse - Verse? XD. Thanks for cheering me up. You can call me Max~ Kind regards.ย
Sounds great Max If you start with idea maybe I can add some lines! or the other way!
XD, we will see how we go. Kind regards. Best wishes to you Jim
Santa bounced off the roof last night, gave me and the Mrs. quite a fright!
Great start! Reckon we can keep this going over messages though, gotta save it for the release XD
Fish, music is a release and a picker-upper, it isn't narcissistic to want that. When I am blue I listen to very sad music, in my own weird way, it makes me feel that I don't have it as bad as the lyrics are saying. You are unique and special, I hear it in your poetry and the way you comment on other's work. you and I have a lot in common, I feel awkward around others because I don't like being judged (my own fault I am sure.) I am not very comfortable in a crowd, I suffer from social anxiety and PTSD. When I die, I want to be remembered, everyone wants that. No matter the reason you might feel you do or say something awkward, it's only being human. You're perfectly imperfect.
Wow, Lisa! That's really touching thanks so much. I honestly had no clue we had so much in common like that, I agree and can relate to all those points. This has really lifted up my day Lisa. You have no idea. I can`t describe it. Kind regards and best wishes to you my friend! TFOTS
Fully agree! Do be positive everyone here. As for talk, how could a fish talk in the water?ย (Obviously this doesn't need an answer, just a joke of playing words!) ;-o
I notice as well poet/ess's too busy to leave comments - a sign that they an't interested in a good reading, and commenting with their thought - that's okay it's their choice.
Awww thanks so much Yiyan, and haha, I`d assume it would be quite bubbly XD. Your humour really helps so much.ย ย
Its an interesting thing that there can be hundreds or thousands of views on something but only a few ever comment... Brings me to wonder how many people actually are viewing...
But as you said each to their own I guess.
Kind regards and best wishes to you Yiyan!
Your friend,
TFOTS
Yeah, I get what you're saying. I sometimes spiral hopelessly with thoughts of things way out of my control. Music is the best thing in my life, it always helps me calm down but I feel like I'm not the best person. One of my friends keeps ruthlessly pointing out my flaws and making me feel like crap so today I just stood up and screamed at them. I told all of my friends all of their flaws, criticised everything they've ever done and then not so subtly punched one of them. I felt like absolute crap after so I as soon as I got home I flopped down on my bed and listened to music. I really don't like being around people, they make me angry, harsh and rude but when I'm alone I'm the total opposite. I do stupid things every day and just barricade myself in, not to criticise or be harsh but sometimes it feels nice to let the barriers down and find a human companion. One who will listen to all your ranting and screaming and still smile by your side.ย
I can absolutely sympathize with that Bell. I'm am also very similar, to be honest toxic people and betrayal are the reasons I dont bother with a friendship group anymore. But that doesn't mean I think they're not absolutely critical. They just dont work for me it seems. I'm lucky to have ones that really love and care for me for who I am though. And not everyone does. I hope you find peace one way or another though Bell, you always have an Aussie to talk to you if you need. Thanks for you comment again. Your mate, TFOTSย
Guilt at our existence is something I'm accustomed to, never am I at peace as long as the earth burns, but I do not feel guilty to switch off, for how am I supposed to love with a heavy heart in my chest.
Love is all you need, love and misic
Be at peace my friend. X
Interesting take Gerald, thanks for your kind words. Really they mean so much. Best wishes to you. TFOTSย
Hi Fish. We all deal with things going on in our heads and in ourselves in different ways, and its mainly creative like the music or writing like you just did. I think its better to release what you are thinking so writing it here...you did the right thing. I think its finding what works best for you and also finding what makes you feel good about yourself. Because the mind is a powerful thing. and if your mood is not right then it creates a whole lot of other problems. And our mental health and wellbeing is one way to help you deal with matters you cannot control. But you can control or manage your own mind.ย
I have been writing more mindfulness quotes on my instagram and facebook page. I am going to post another on here for fun.
I hope you can make you feel better as its just not worth feeling sad about things.ย
Remember train your brain to feel good. Everything else will fall into place.
Good you shared your thoughts.
Px
Thanks Pratibha, so very true, thanks so much for your uplifting comments, it really means so much. I'm just grateful that I have found my light in the dark. Kudos to you for taking the time to comment. Best wishes. The Fish of the Seaย
Hi love...didn't want you to think I'm ignoring you but don't have time right now to give due consideration here. Will come back.ok...hugs ๐ค
Awww thanks so much, no fuss Marion, it's all good! ;)
Being troubled or awkward just means you are around the wrong people.
Feeling lonely or not fitting in just means you are in the wrong place.ย
Or avoiding hurt or possible hurt.ย
I hope you feel better soon.ย
Find your own sense of belonging in your own skin.ย
Thanks Liliana, dont really have much control of my circumstances right now, but I agree with you heaps. Thanks so much for lifting me up my friend. Its really appreciated. Kind regards. TFOTSย
You're certainly not alone Fish. There are plenty more fish the same in the sea (sorry...couldn't help that). Music is a great coping mechanism for me...along with a lot of other not so great coping mechanisms.
I'd like to tell you to live your life and not be afraid of what others think...but then I'd be a total hypocrite. It's not as easy as it sounds.
Hang in thereย - Syd xoย
Awww thanks so much Syd! your comment is so very touching to me. I reckon I`ll just stick with music XD. But your joke did make me chuckle to ;).ย
Best wishes to you Syd. Hope you are well. TFOTS
Hi love...just wanted to.add my two.penneth to all the wonderful comments here. We all exist entirely alone inside ourselves Max, regardless of family and friends...it is a lonely journey because nobody can join us in our heads. I suffer from depression which I have renamedย pointless, I have overwhelming feelings of futility...what is the point of it all?? I think the key is quite simply accepting ourselvesย as we are..and knowing our triggers. Also to remember that most of us suffer in some way or another when it comes to head work. As for music it has the power to make it break the spirit depending on mood. I did not really understand what you were trying to.say about that...you want to scare people??.
Anyway...Simply to say, we all have two sides...the socially acceptable side and the other one thatย we live with day in, day out...๐ค๐ค
Such a smashing comment Marion, so very true, I feel like a everyone has a sense of futility, but the difference is how much it is masked by friends family etc. Knowing your triggers, also does really help, weird how sometimes I want to feel upset though... also yeah, the scaring part is true, I don't know how it works, I think I feel that if I can believe I can cope with somthing better than others I feel more confident in myself. That's why I thought it was naristic... but anyway thanks so much for getting back to be Marion. Really really touching. More than you know. Kind regards. Max
I think it is a human trait to want people to look up to us but we don't achieve that by looking down on them. I have found in life that people do not gain respect through position or power ...people either respect others or they don't. Mostly I think true respect is only given to fair minded kind people...all we can do is aim to be that person...so scaring people will not help you feel better about yourself Max...they will just run away. People who feel inferior are always the ones to deflect it onto others in put downs or bullying and you don't strike me as this kind of person. I think you probably just need to work on your self confidence my friend ๐ค๐ค
Amen to that Marion, comes in waves anyway dont always feel like that... never have I wanted to bully or anything, just really wish I could feel normal, like everyone around me seems to be. Jealous maybe. That's for supporting me though Marion. Reckon you hit the nail on the head. Best wishes to you, your friend. TFOTSย
Fish needs to talkย
Again a fantastic insight into who you are, I can take a lot from what you wrote, I often try to imagine how peopleive their lives as well but it often runs riot and I have all kinds going in in my head, Music to go with it as well just fab. Dunno if you have heard of M83 that's my go to music "outro" is my favourite,ย
"I am the king of my own land, facing tempests of dust I will fight until the end, creatures of my dreams rise up and dance with me, now and forever I'm your king" lyrics from outro, it was used for TV show versailleย
Thanks Keith! I love how poetry allows you to Express yourself and give it your all without fear of discrimination or discomfort from your peers or friends. I use it as an out in this regard. I haven't heard of this music but I'll have a look, sounds interesting to me! Take care and best wishes. Your friend, TFOTSย