Game
London
My first solo trip to London was in 1977, I caught the train from Doncaster and got off at KingsCross station. I was going to Brighton. There was no ThamesLink at that time, I had to get the underground tube to Victoria, take a cab, or walk. I decided to walk. I did not have a map, but my interest in the capital, and the games of Monopoly I had played with my siblings served me well . Yes strange as it might seem, I didnt feel lost tottering about like a monopoly piece from colour to colour. I headed for Oxford Street, went down the embankment and stumbled on Victoria quite by mistake or subliminal memory of a previous life ? Who knows, but within a short time I had arrived at Victoria. I would be seventeen, and probably looked quite pretty in my, oddly chosen clothes. I seemed to like to dress differently, making my own clothes to whatever state of mind I was in, creative wise. At one point, I made tailored suits from fine materials I bought in Doncaster, Hessian coloured Plaids and Tweeds, herringbone fabrics, which made me look like some lost ghost from the twenties. To my disgrace I also had a fox fur, which I bought from a yard sale, I didn't feel guilty as it had lost it's life many years ago, but today I would not wear fur, however we still continute to harvest hide, and not many people shake the banner for the poor cows, robbed of milk and their skin. My mums little sewing machine was a god send.
When I arrived at Victoria and boarded the train, this guardsman on the train took a fancy to me. I could tell by him staring like a person obsessed. He approached me on the platform and asked where I was going, and to see my ticket. I thought, he was playing the authority part a bit heavy. He was looking at me in a way I don't wish to see in a man. His sweaty face perspired as I watched.
"why don't you come in here with me?" he said, pointing to what looked like a luggage hold
I looked and put on the innocent face as if I didn't know what he meant.
" I'm meeting my Aunt on the train, she will be here soon" I lied of course.
He looked at me, I could tell he was angry behind them eyes. One thing I did was move pretty fast from that part of the train, and blank him out of my brain. That man, what did he think he was going to do in that luggage hold, with me ? sort the friggin mail ?
When the train arrived in Brighton I moved so fast down the platform the Fat Controller would have given me a job on the spot. But I often wonder about that horrible man, did he ever do anything on that train ? to some poor girl who was intimidated by him..? can't bear to think about it. It reminds me of when I once accepted a lift in a car, me and my friend, and the car was only two door. We did arrive but I vowed never ever again to be so stupid. Who is to say that he took us where we were going..no one..and no one would have known, not like today with mobile phones. We were easy meat.
Later in life, the same thing occurred with my husband and a friend. We were in a small village in Turkey, and a yacht had docked in the bay. At the local beach disco my husband got to talking with the skipper of the yacht, and he invited us to see his yacht the next night. I was not too keen on going, but my husband convinced me. We arrived at the said time and had to walk up a long and narrow plank to the boat. Once on board the staff, two of, cooked a perfect meal of fresh fish and salad. I praised the skipper and offered to pay for my meal, which he declined. My husband wanted to look at the boat, I died inside at that point. The skipper took us into the hold, walking down the steps the cloud of doom and distress decended on me, but not the other two. He was showing us various things, the bedrooms and at the end the large room. I turned behind me stood the two men, and they smiled, perspiring like the guardsman on the train, but now I was in the room with no escape but the one hatch high up. I was aware of this, I looked to my husband who was intoxicated, and his friend. To bolt was imminent, that feeling when you want to run for your life, I don't want to keep experiencing it. Three against three, it would have been. If he had took out his cooks knife and sliced off my arm it wouldn't have been a suprise to me. Once again I was polite and said I was hot and needed to get some air, making way towards the exit, and I passed through. I was down that slim plank onto the shore like a bat out of hell. It bounced as I ran it, and I ended up in the water, but it was worth it to get my feet on the sandy shore.
You must not drink alcohol with people you don't know or an unfair advantage is gained by them, for whatever reason they have in mind. Luckily I did not. But who would know, who would know if we had been slaughtered on that boat and tossed ashore ? I looked in the morning for the boat and it had left the bay. I was lucky again I think. I don't want my luck to run out, not ever.
Trust is what they relay on, trust and opportunity, and it may seem harsh, but I would rather be harsh and alive than fish food.
There must be something about me, when I was in Brighton I was pestered. I think that's why I put on weight now. They seem to leave you alone. When I was younger it was every day, fighting them off at one point, then I had kids and they left me alone with my mummsy belly. ..I still have it.
I loved Brighton, I walked from the Station to Brunswick Square where my sister lived, and spent several months working in Brighton. I worked at 'Jaegers' in Burgess Hill for a while. I went out to the nightclubs on my home, and walked home, on my own. It was the year of 'Grease' film, and mostly girls were wearing lurex type leggings and sparkly tops, apart from me. But I still got pestered. Got followed all the time, really get a grip men. I think I must attract psycho's and sociopaths. It was seemingly deemed 'sweet' back then, but I found it scary. Staring at you, and following you like a Predater ready for the kill. Don't you get it, it always on my terms, always..even when I play the game that it's not. Stupid men.
