A letter to you A girl has got to have secrets.

             The truth is i lied about allot of things. I told myself that i didn't love you just so that i could believe my own lie. You see what i did their? I lied. I dated other guys ,and i treated them like i treated you. They didn't get me, they just looked at me like if i said something stupid. Sometimes they would talk about themselves, and love objects more then me...pot is one of them. Please keep the peace going,but please   don't forget me!..they did..he did. I met this guy who made me believe that maybe he could be the new you. He was hardworking, a great listener, and then slowly? he became distant and just like that..he left.

                I cried, it was an endless marathon and i didn't even eat as much to be honest. You know who was their for me when i felt alone? You. You found me at my weakest point,and you picked me up. You never ever deleted my number,emails, or pictures.........did you? Second guessing an un-known number was a piece of cake,and when i finally texted you your name i got a relief of happiness. You took my numbness and somehow un thawed it. I was still angry though,and i didn't mean to release so much on you. I just felt so betrayed, and nobody cared to listen so i vented out my heart to you.  I kept asking myself "Why did you have to leave?!" I was referring to YOU.

                Through out the years we always manged back to find each other. Number one, i'd unblock you after months of getting over a pointless argument,and two you'd find me. You were my stalker, the guy who checked on me to see if i was okay. I wish we never argued so much about the past. I wish that you were able to keep your word,because every other guy after you couldn't. I waited for you for six years underneath the "I hate yous" that i mumbled under my breath. Heres another secret, i also stalked you....no comment. Okay okay, i had missed you and i was too stubborn to talk to you so thats how i coped through it. 

                  You said that you wanted to marry me,and that you wanted to try things with me. You said that you loved me, that you missed me, and you even thought i was beautiful. Thats how are arguments would go, because you'd take it back and i'd get upset. You can erase it,but i have the messages and yes i read them sometimes. Our love was the best kind of love i ever had,and sometimes when the world gets quite i hope'd you'd break it into saying "Hi Hely". The truth is everything i kept inside were feelings for you that truly never went away. I know that deep down you still feel the same. "I want all of you, forever,you and me, everyday." quoted~Noah. The Notebook.  A girl has got to have secrets...........

                                                                                   ps. I love you

                                                                             sincerely, six years ago