After “the ride” me and Sphinx had actually sat down and talked. “Why me?” I asked. “I mean you could have anyone you want why me? My life is complicated yours not. My life much like anything else is probably a waste”. She sighs. “I couldn’t stop thinking about the other night” she said. “ I hadn’t felt that kind of love in years and you just so happen to all to give”. “But was it really love? I mean it was unexpected maybe I was just in love with the surprise more than that it was you.”I said rather coldly. She looked at me with a mean face I could tell the conversation was gonna take a turn. “I guess I shouldn’t have pushed it on you. I’m sorry.” She said as I kind felt like shit. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just not ready for love let alone be in love with my partner.” I explained. “I hear you what you saying. It would be kinda weird if everyone knew at the precinct what was going on between us. I mean they’ll never believe I got with a fat guy like you.” She said. I guess I should take the time to say I’m not fat I’m just chubby. An athletic chubby like I could be in the nfl. She didn’t see that though I guess it was time for me to work out more. You know I never thought about it though. Sphinx is my kind of woman. Someone strong, knows my moods, and let them be, someone who could love me for me you know. We had chopped it up and agreed to just being partners and nothing else. Maybe I could start focusing on heaven. The pearly gates and the woman being that I didn’t want to live anymore and she happens to be there for me. On the ride home I started to think about my feelings. I guess you could say they are more like the ocean. Far as the eye could see and much salty. Wider than the horizons of the sun eclipsing over the earth. Wavy as if it could’ve done by God’s hand. The waters, however, doesn’t flow as smooth. A lot of crashes against the unworthy rocks that stand in its way. But when watched the sounds sweet. Like the heart beat of the one you chasing after knowing you can’t get what you want. Even with the crashes though it flows with or without you. Lately it has been condemned by a dam we all know the beaver that built it. I made it home safe but exhausted. Body draped over everything as I could barely stand. I had texted heaven and let her know why I left then finally I got in my bed was laid to rest. I woke up to the sound of my alarm buzzing in my ear. I go to take a shower but I stopped to see if I could see myself in the mirror that’s to you is fine but broken in the way i see it. I felt like I was living two different lives and one had just died. I miss my old soul but sadly it was in the wind that blew by like the time of doing everything but checking the time. I took a hot shower rinsing off sweat, anger, and confusion. I go to put on my clothes weary of the day. It just felt that today was just gonna be bad. Either that or the dark cloud that hangs over me is back. Not surprised as though I’ve felt that way since she left. I don’t have time to face it though I was ready to start a what could possibly be a shitty day. I walk outside and lock my door and what do you know bird shit on my passenger window. They say it’s good luck if one dumps on you buuuut since it’s my car I wanna shoot it’s wings off. I head to precinct only to find that i had to skip coffee as our suspect turns up in the hood. A hood I had personal rivals with from back in the day. Sphinx has ran it down to me how it was gonna happen since I was letting her take the show this time but eventually I knew I was gonna need to take over. It was only one guy but we couldn’t be too careless we go in a duo tag him and bag him but if things get hot we call for back up. We took a police car over to one of the most dangerous hoods in the city of saint louis. “The roaring 100”. A gang known through out the city for its ruthless killing. A bunch of gang banging punks who didn’t know what they were even riding for. They were always stopped by “Grid”. My gang. Or used to be anyways. Grid was and still the most respected gang in saint louis. The roaring 100 hated that. They knew we didn’t have to kill in order to get respect. In fact the only we did was when were met by them. They always outnumbered us for sure but we fought. As we pulled up to it we noticed something was off. Way off the hood awfully quiet and empty. We could only think it was a trap but we were too far gone. We could only walk into hell expecting to drag a demon who was close to the devil out into custody. We knew which house he was in. We got out and rushed quickly guns drawn and easy to take this bastard down if need be. “3....2......1”. We kicked down the door to an empty house only to find the killer in the middle of the living room on his knees as if he was waiting for us. Guns pointed at him ready to shoot. “Looks like I don’t have to shoot my new gun. You’re coming with us hands on your head”. I wished I did waste this guy with my new gun it was a new FN five-seven with an extended mag and red dot sight. It was my new baby the Captain gifted me with for my years of service. Sphinx was more old school so she ran with the glock and glock only. He turned and said with a chilling voice to us both. “For the angel of death”. He drew his gun and shot himself in the head taking his life. It was so fast we could barely react or move. But it wasn’t the last of our problems. We heard a loud crash and explosion from outside to find that our car was blown to bits. “It’s a trap!!”. Sphinx yelled as we ran back inside turns out this poor bastard met with the roaring 100 and told them some unexpected cops with one being of rival gang was gonna be here. Sitting back to back we wonder how the hell we were gonna leave. No phone connection (as the line were cut off), no communication to the precinct, no back-up. We was in shit nose deep without a way out except for maybe a box. It was good thing I knew how to get to my old hood from here. “Oooooooooh coppers come out to plaaaaaaaaaaay. You’re on the wrong of the town baby especially you grid prick. You’re gonna die today homie.” Sphinx Hugged me tight as she knew this could possibly be the last time we were ever alive. “There should be a passage way through the back. If we can make it through the neutral streets and cross to north side we should be safe and from there be able to call for back up”. I explained. Then I look over and found that our dead suspect had and an assault rifle with an extra clip. At least we had some luck. “You cover the front I’ll make a way through the bac-“. “get them fuckers out of there!!!!!!” “Move!! Move!! Move!! I yelled as we kicked down the front and back doors and took cover. We knew that we’re gonna die here today but wasn’t down with out a fight I took the assault rifle as Sphinx had my 6. Then we looked to each other and gave a nod.