Before its over

   Yesterday i called in to work and made up a lie, used my little brother as a excuse like i have in the past. I sat on my bed with my hello kitty coffee cup on my night stand. I could smell the oysters that stained my work shirt from the previous shift i worked. ( I forgot to wash out the smell i thought.) I tossed off my shirt, shoes, and jeans into a pile of nothing and laid naked on my bed for awhile. Sometimes i zone out ,and dream by thoughts that cross my mind. I just wanted to cradle myself into a happy place. I kept on thinking on what i really wanted in life.

   I think i constantly post stories on here about my dreams and i cant seem to stop. Thats what i think about on a daily basis. Yesterday i just wanted to do that, expect without going to work. I huddled around my blankets as my cold skin pressed against my sheets and pillows. What to do i thought............... Im on level 37 on Candy crush but im not saying it to brag, but because it was a hard level to pass. I  remember putting my phone down and wrapping my arms against my face facing down on my pillow.

      My grandma walked in asking me if i wanted to join her to senior group and to go check out some classes. I didn't hesitate,so i got dressed. When my grandma asked me why i didn't go to work, i told her "No i just didn't want to go". It wasn't a lie, but not completely true. I was just tired and i didn't feel like being the restaurants "bitch" (busser) I  should have kept my mouth shut ,because as we walked down the rainy road she kept on nagging. I tuned her out for awhile until she talked about the crazy Texas weather. I wasn't trying to be rude, i just got tired and tired of working at my new job. All i wanted more then anything was to be a Art Teacher. That was the dream job, and even though i always told myself it was only temporary, yesterday i felt like it was going to be a FOREVER thing. 

     What seemed like a long walk was over. When we walked in the building we entered the room. I was in a room filled with old people. It literally looked like a retirement center and some stared at me as i sat. Next to me sat a small old lady dressed in pink and house shoes. She talked to me and i smiled. Class began, a lady near ther late 20's walked in ,and started talking about how salt was bad for you. The lady next to me kept asking me what she was saying. When i told her she still looked confused, like she was still waiting for an answer. "She cant hear" Grandma said. I felt bad , nothing that i said could make sense and i didn't know how to fix it. I saw how she communicated with another lady and that was by talking to her in the ear. I suddenly had the urge to go to the bathroom so i got up ,and the little old lady grabbed my arm said "Donde vas mejia?" Which means where are you going daughter. I got close to her ear and said "El bano". She pushed her frajil body weight on me and said "me too".

   You know? i didn't mind. For awhile everyone thought she was my grandma when in reality my grandma was over their sitting down knitting and talking to some other lady. After being able to talk to the lady clearly with her hearing me, she kept on talking away. I cant remember everything, just some parts. She talked about some girl who died, some teen boy who used to help her, and something about how she used to clean up that room 3 years ago. She suddenly said that i was a good person and that god was going to bless me. I didn't know what to say, to be honest i was speechless. Earlier that morning i woke up feeling hopeless and i feel like she changed that. She even offered me food that they gave out, but i told her that it was okay. Before i left i hugged her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. I just kept thinking that if she ever died anytime soon...i would probably cry. I only met her once, and i wasn't sure if i was going to see her again.

   Thats where it all clicked and i told myself it was only temporary ...........I felt like this little old lady impacted my life in just a hour and i needed to hear that. I know i helped her get around the classroom and such but at the end she helped me understand life.