life's a lie (not finished)

My life has been a lie; my family betrayed me and caused me to end my life. I walk this world as a phantom meant to feel eternal sorrow. I wish I never did that to myself, I wish I could take it all back and start over.

I see families much like mine was, that look perfect to the outside world but on the inside are rotten and vile. It brings me disgust. I normally just wander from house to house to see how it’s changing. I find that people are becoming dull to their surroundings it’s fun to watch kids almost walk into poles while texting.

“Ha idiot, you should watch where you’re going.”

Sometimes they look around almost like they heard me; it makes me wonder if they can hear me. I saw a car accident about a day ago. The man was killed on impact, I saw him materialize in front of me. He looked around confused until he saw his car. After that he kind of freaked out. That’s a pretty normal response with this sort of thing. I told him he would be okay if he led a good life. He had his panic attach for about another minute or so than began to speak to me.

“Did I hurt anyone in the crash?”

“Um, kind of.” I said as I smiled.

“Who did I hurt, was anyone killed?”

Look at yourself you moron I thought to myself. “You killed yourself dumbass, that’s who got hurt. You!”

He gave me a serious look that asked what I meant by had a good life.

“Well, if you did well you’ll go to heaven and bad hell. You see where I’m going with this?”

“Yeah I do, so I have to renounce my sins to god or something?”

“Not exactly, it’s more black and white that that.”

As he was about to say something he vanished, to heaven or hell. I never really know where they go after their brief moment on earth with me. I stood there and watched the paramedic try to bring him back to no prevail. It’s kind of a curious thing when you watch but no one can see you. You can really see how frail people can be. It’s interesting and kind of scary. I remember after my death I sat next to my body as the last little bit of blood slid from my wrist. I was crying because I realized I made a mistake and couldn’t take it back. I soon got over it though. Oh well, not like I had much to live for anyway. I was abused and mistreated by everyone I knew. But it does get lonely wandering around alone forever. I miss my dog I had, and the cool breeze from an open window in the afternoon. I guess I can’t take it back. I wish I could, because I’m pretty bored around here. Being a phantom sucks. All you can do is watch and wish, nothing else.

“Maybe there will be a fight at the park again.” I muttered to myself. As I floated in that general derection.

When I got there I saw some kids playing catch, and a couple who I guess are their parents watching from a bench. I floated next to a tree and watched for a while. I soon got bored and a little jealous, so I left. I soon found the fight I was hoping for; they were two teenage boys fighting at the skate park. I sat back and profiled them to place a bet. One was tall and had the advantage of reach, the other kind of short but really fast. I picked the short one. I watched until their friends broke it up and started to leave, then a cop showed up and it all went to hell. The tall one pulled out a pistol and shot at the short one hitting him in the arm then turned it on the cop. At the same moment the cop pulled out his service pistol and fired on the tall kid. He was hit in the arm and leg before he could get a shot off on the cop. I left so I didn’t have to deal with any new arrivals. I made my way to the lake in the far end of the park and watched the coy in the adjoined pond. They could sense my presence and swam around my figure. I like going here, it’s peaceful and they are the only things that know I exist.