I was once outside looking in. ( always together my little love )

Outside looking in. When you were born my love, You had delicate translucent skin, it was me on the outside, looking in. I carried you within my womb's love for 25weeks and 1 day, Our journey together was hard, A fight to keep you safe, Surrounded by reducing levels of fluids, You begin to suffocate, Your movements painfully ripping at my insides, But reassuring my dismay, A struggling vessel of life, My hopes never breaking, Willing you to stay, A doctor told me you were an invalid life, That you wouldn't make it through the night, A miscarriage would be your fate, I held you so tight that night curled up in fetal position my arms wrapped around my agony, Surrounding you within my broken wings, I prayed to god, Over, and over to shelter us from the horrors of parting, How could your life end without really starting, The morning light awoken me, So weak and in disbelief, We made it through another night, I feel your sigh of relief, The connection we share, Is by spiritual boundaries that can never be broken, This horrible day my jeans were soaking, The loss this time was of critical amount, To Melbourne we were sent, The royal women's hospital, To the gods, As i call then now, up high on the NICU floor, Where they delivered you, A spontaneous delivery, A little boy so blue, My heart divided when i saw you, They rushed you away, I didn't hear you cry, I only received a quick look, A kiss goodbye, Wasn't long, But it felt like forever , but i was by your side, Looking through the glass, Machines, plugs keeping you alive, The sounding beeping ringing in my mind, You strengthened every minute past, I could finally touch you, Hurray at last, Your skin was covered in tiny hairs, Of light gold, Your ears weren't even grown, They designed you a belly button, yours was not yet formed, " speshy" as we call it today, no one has one quite like yours, Your tiny hands smaller than a 10 cent piece, Your feet so perfectly small, The touch of your hair soothed my soul, I felt complete again as if we were whole, Your birth weight was 767 gms, Not alot at all, but continued to grow, and now your 1 meter tall, You really can tell by looking just how small you were at all, Your smart, your funny, have a love for life, Your beautiful soul, amazing more each day, im so overwhelmed in you my love, im so glad you stayed, my survivor, My little ultimate fighter , my boy, my champion. you spent over 1454 hours in intensive care, you spent your 100th day being alive in hospital, with balloons, and cake with nurse's and new friends, you came home on my birthday late July , love you always my little guy , never apart a mother's connection from the very start , you'll always and forever feel the love within my heart  . 11 th march