Ready to let you go

Let my words paint the picture that my heart cannot

I would like to paint a picture for you, in the hope that my words will shout out to your heart, what my mind could not even whisper. I am sure you would not like me to mention your name, but the parchment my words are written on, knows the soul that it seeks. I know that when you read this, the heart within my words will be content. My heart will always be yours, its candlelight will never be lit from the radiance of any mind but your own. I apologise for my heart not being simpler, for the language of my love for you, is without a shadow of a doubt anything less than complex. 

Your voice may pretend to understand what your mind wants to resist. This being the case, you may never understand that you truly are the light of my world. The luminous glow that deafens my darkness; and the everlasting love that dominates my spirit. It would be nothing less than my hearts wish for you to read this and understand, rather than to glance and forget. I know you don't consider yourself much of a reader, I am hoping however that you may forget yourself for the time it takes, to be in my mind.

I may have spoke the thoughts and wonders within me, but my voice may never utter just how much I bleed. Not only do I bleed when I think of our love entwined. The time we have left together and all the dreams we have left to fulfil. My heart certainly bleeds when I think of your passing. I have always said that I would rather love you till the end of this life, than to not love you at all. This is the truth, being honest with myself I have never told you how I truly feel because I am frightened of losing you to the consequence of my own words. I am so frightened of being in this life with you, sharing all the walks of life as we grow and walking hand in hand through time: then having to walk alone as I live without you when your time comes. I have cried so many times to think of you not in this world. Though I know that you would wait for me when my time also comes. My mind has set down for me the future ahead, but I need to know that you would walk down that road with me without hesitation. 

My fingers shake to the words that I write for as much as I want you to read this, I wish for no rejection. You are the one woman I want to be with and the one woman I cannot be without. I cannot begin to feel how much I will miss you, when you are no longer of this earth, It will be so very hard, for I miss you even now when you are but steps from me. Your voice is my blessing that puts me to rest when I cannot be still, what shall I do when I hear your voice no more. No-one will calm me when your gone.

Nothing will stop my tears, So I need to send this message to you : 

You know that I love you with all the heart and soul within me, and I will always put your safety before my own. I will always be there for your listening, and for any burden that you need to unload. For any tears that need to be released and any anger that you need to be free of. Though we may together at the end of this life, if you pass before my time comes, know that my heart must follow. My heart cannot survive without the love that keeps it beating. Regardless of whether you would wait beyond the light, I would need to escape the darkness that without you is present. You are my kindred, nobody else will ever matter to me as much as you do, and I solemnly swear that if you die, I too will die along with you. You are forever in my thoughts, and I cannot bring myself to walk in this world without you.

I love you