in the room

In a silent room we sit. Justing waiting on the first word to be said. You ask me a question.... but it takes a while for me to respond. We sit, and my heart and less than calm. I can feel it beating faster than a drum.... making my whole chest vibrate like a phone. You look at me waiting for an answer.... and you ask it again... "What happened?" allI I can do is look down at my feet, and twirl my fingers in my dress.. my mouth begins to open and I slowly say.... " I came home and she called me into her room..." I look up at you as you write down everything that I say.... My voice begins to crack, and I'm shaking like a piece of paper blowing in the wind. " I came home and she called me into her room... and... and... and... she asked me what happened." You being to write some more... nodding your head, slowly understanding and carefully listening to what I say. I look at you a small tear rolls down my face. " do we have to talk about this? I'm tired of telling the same story, I'm tired of reliving everthing that happened, I'm tired of it... I can't take this anymore I don't want to go through this anymore... please don't make me do this.. just please." You put down the paper, and you look at me, with your glasses hanging off of your nose, and you say... "I'm just here to help you, I'm just here to understand, I'm just here to make you feel better." I look at you with a strange look in my eyes, and a tear rolls down my beaten face. "I don't want to talk about it, I can't live it again, you just have to give me some time, because I can't take it, It's bad enough that I have to dream about it every night, It's bad enough that I have to have these visions every single day. It's bad enough that my hurts and I want to vomit everytime I talk about it please don't make me do this anymore. I'm tired, I don't sleep at night and I just want to be left alone by myself for once..... GEEZ I'M SO FREAKING TIRED!!!!"

You put your glasses on your face again, and you stand up to open the door, and say... If you want to go you can go, but if you want to talk I will be right here for you. I walk out of the room, tears still flowing, I look down at my feet ashamed of what I have done. I should've said something. I walk out of the office and run down the street.Thinking to myself.... " Only if I talk about my problems, then maybe they will go away"