sit down?

I work at a store and weird stuff happens to me all the time
One day I was at work and a 72 year old woman asked if I would like to come over for a private dance in front of her friends,I kindly declined then went to the bathroom to cry to myself,only when I arrived there was a man already in there I said hey sorry its ok ill wait,his reply was na come on in man we'll play swords, I abruptly backed away and kinda pondered to myself wondering if that actually just happened

One day I was loading carts and this women was staring at me like I did some unspeakable crime when suddenly she barks out CAAAAAARRARRT!!! and I gave her a weird look and said excuse me mam can I help you? to which she responded CAAAAAAAARRRRT! I asked her as politly as I could would you like a shopping cart mam? which she responded with a middle finger and a fuck you retard, I was so unprepaired for this remark I litterally froze in place processing how she may of thought that could of gone any better

Its amazing how racist old people can be at my work this old guy comes in saying how black people are the reason terrorist want to attack america its even worse when he nudges me with his elbow as if trying to get me to actually agree with him,its even funnier when I tell him my step brother is philipean and my neice is half black then all of a sudden he loves black people and I quoate they make good burgers, can you be any more offensive?

One day I was at a dinner with my family sitting next to my granpa who was sitting next to my unkle his son,we were discussing cleaning out his ocean view office when my granpa blurts out dam mexicans fuck! this fucking chink(cant even get his racial slurs right) comes into my office and I did not even hesitate I fired a warning shot at his feet and said get out,when the guy took a step foward asking me to calm down I put one right near his shoe and he ran,we asked granpa maybe he just wanted to buy some supplies from your store? and he said no I know he wasnt there for that,and my unkle said well how did you know? and my grandfather replied because mexicans steal
Im not sure what offended me more the fact my grandfather almost killed a guy for no reason,or that im just now discovering my granpa is a racist

I have a history of having crazy girl friends
One time I went on a date with a girl and we decided we would get chilly and go to the zoo,its a cincinnati thing
As we sat down I found it odd that she was not speaking,so to break the silence I asked her do you like animals?
She replies oh yes I looooooooooooove animals
I said really? whats your favorite?
She responds with elephants! but it sucks because they are extinct
I said um elaphants are not extinct
And she got mad and screamed yes they are thats why they are featured on national geographic all the time to guilt trip us about killing them all off............
I was litterally stunned by how ignorant she was
But I tried to save the date,I suggested that maybe she had mixed up elaphants and whooly mammoths?
And she said why would I care about hairy fat people?
I left
I used to go to a trade school at which I was eating breakfast and this girl sits down across from me and just stares like she wants to eat me,and I asked whats your problem?
She responds I dont like you!
I asked who crawled up your butt and died sisnce I never spoke to her before
And she said im so ugly I look like her mothers ass before she shaves it,so I asked why are you looking at your mothers ass as she goes to shave it?
Then all of a sudden she tells me that she heard I like to take it up the butt and points out shes a woman shes supposed to get fucked up the butt unlike I me..........so I left