Funny

I have a short fuse and when I blow my top, I'm like dynamite when it explodes.
And that's exactly...

A Greek family ate at my diner and they broke all of my plates.
I whipped them all because they did...

My brother and his wife have a bad habit.
They actually breed more than rabbits.
Last week my...

Three years ago, I fell off a steeple.
My fall was broken by three people.
When this happened...

Everybody is shocked by my lawsuit and because I won.
I sued a Convent because they wouldn't let me...

When a thief got close to my back pocket, he decided to pick it.
He got my wallet and my thirty...

You make me so mad that I want to wring your neck.
You think that I'm stupid enough to take your...

I bought a parrot but he has a foul mouth.
I let him loose so that he could fly south.
But he...

Last week was the Flying Nun's last flight.
Last week she flew to an amazing height.
She flew...

I know what you want to order for dinner, Welsh Rarebit.
But if you order it again, I swear that I'...

I ordered a hitman to whack a judge and that judge hired the same man to whack me.
The hitman got...

On Halloween I always get a rock everywhere I go.
I decided to retaliate by throwing their rocks...

My brother pulled a dirty trick on me that was lousy to do.
Before I put on a Gorilla mask, he...

I'm Eric Cartman and I'm an evil little bitch.
My mom is poor, she certainly isn't rich.
She...

I always thought it was impossible for a person to reincarnate but I learned that they can.
After I...

I went to Fantasy Island but my fantasy didn't come true.
I beat up Mister Roarke and I also tried...

We're hopelessly lost and in great distress.
I was too damn cheap to purchase a GPS.
My...